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Song Parodies -> "Hotel Transylvania"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Hotel Transylvania"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

I apologize for my inability to write with an accent - feel free to change the pronunciation of the choruses so they sound more vampire-like.
'Twas a dark, stormy Friday
Foolishly, I drove
Got blocked by a tree trunk
Lightning struck and it dove

On a secluded hilltop
I saw a spacious abode
The place was craggy
It looked quite gothic
I should've run down the road

But I trudged up the hillside
It beckoned like a hearse
I had some fears that by next morn
I would be dead or
Things would be worse

As I grasped the door handle
It opened on it's own
Heard the voice of a pale foreigner
Speaking in monotone:

"Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania
Beds are really large
And it's free of charge
Plenty of ghouls at the Hotel Transylvania
And they'd love to see
The new company"

Can't say the kitchens are crowded
They've got a skeleton crew
And when there's guests they cook up just dessert:

Heard a banshee scream so loud
Soaked through my seat
Turns out it's tradition
Scares guests as they eat

Then of course Mr. Dracman
Tells me there's no wine
I said, "I'll take a pint of Guinness beer"
I was out of my mind

He pressed a button
To let in another guest
And the words I heard filled me up with fright
This is what he said:

"Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania
On a lucky hill
For those in your will
You'll mix with the undead at Hotel Transylvania
We don't need your cash
It's no Monster Mash"

Mummies roaming freely
Igors plucking eyes
And I'm sure, compared to most denizens here
They are really nice

And at the vampire table
They look ready to bite
Their cups seem full of red, red wine
But they've got erythrocytes

One cup wouldn't sate them
I was thinking things like crud
Each claimed the right to crack my back
And then drain my precious blood

They squabbled 'til midnight
Then I stood on fields of green
Seems the place that gave me so much fright
Just is on Halloween

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Marvellous, Ethan. Especially like the "Terrormasu" (though as any beer-drinking pedant will tell you, Guinness is a stout... if it's OK with you, I'll substitute whatever is on tap on Saturday, probably "Tanglefoot").

To everyone else: I don't know if Ethan had had the idea for this beforehand, but on the messageboard I asked if anyone had any halloween parodies I could perform at a "Halloween Party" gig on Saturday 1st.. and he wrote this. Spot on :)
Ethan - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil. You can definitely switch the drink names if you want to, although "I'll take a pint of guinness, please" should fix that technical issue. I had wanted to write a halloween parody for a few days but hadn't had any ideas, but then I saw the messageboard post and started thinking a bit harder and figured I should probably go with classic rock and somehow came up with "Hotel transylvania". I was a bit concerned it had been done before, but I found nothing on amiright and then just a "Castle Transylvania" song which was about the rocky horror picture show which I'm pretty sure has no lines in common with mine. Then a few hours later I had what you see here, with the only place where I was stumped for a while being 6 lines from the end.
Jason - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
This is very good. Perfect for Halloween. 555
HotelNorCAL - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Enjoyed this little gettaway, Sir !
Ann Hammond - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
love it.
John Jenkins - October 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Well done, Ethan, particularly the "skeleton crew" line.
Peregrin - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Very enjoyable read, Ethan!
Gholio - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Remnds me of Fright Night and The Lost Boys. Those vampire movies are two of my favourties.
Tim Mayfield - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
This one's got spirit! oh, and 555 reasons to hide under the bed on Halloween too.
PMS - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
This was a treat
Christie Marie M - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Happy Halloween, Ethan! This parody reminds me of some horror films such as "The Shining" and "Tower of Terror", which scenes take place in the hotels. I really enjoyed reading and singing your parody. I love how you put the scare scenes in this song, especially when I read in the third verse where the hillside beckoned like a hearse and the skeleton crew must be scary but funny. Good show, Ethan!! 555!!!
steph - March 05, 2022 - Report this comment
This is brilliant, i love it
victoria - March 05, 2022 - Report this comment
pleasant dreams

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