'Twas a dark, stormy Friday
Foolishly, I drove
Got blocked by a tree trunk
Lightning struck and it dove

On a secluded hilltop
I saw a spacious abode
The place was craggy
It looked quite gothic
I should've run down the road

But I trudged up the hillside
It beckoned like a hearse
I had some fears that by next morn
I would be dead or
Things would be worse

As I grasped the door handle
It opened on it's own
Heard the voice of a pale foreigner
Speaking in monotone:

"Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania
Beds are really large
And it's free of charge
Plenty of ghouls at the Hotel Transylvania
And they'd love to see
The new company"

Can't say the kitchens are crowded
They've got a skeleton crew
And when there's guests they cook up just dessert:
Terrormasu

Heard a banshee scream so loud
Soaked through my seat
Turns out it's tradition
Scares guests as they eat

Then of course Mr. Dracman
Tells me there's no wine
I said, "I'll take a pint of Guinness beer"
I was out of my mind

He pressed a button
To let in another guest
And the words I heard filled me up with fright
This is what he said:

"Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania
On a lucky hill
For those in your will
You'll mix with the undead at Hotel Transylvania
We don't need your cash
It's no Monster Mash"

Mummies roaming freely
Igors plucking eyes
And I'm sure, compared to most denizens here
They are really nice

And at the vampire table
They look ready to bite
Their cups seem full of red, red wine
But they've got erythrocytes

One cup wouldn't sate them
I was thinking things like crud
Each claimed the right to crack my back
And then drain my precious blood

They squabbled 'til midnight
Then I stood on fields of green
Seems the place that gave me so much fright
Just is on Halloween