At A Dark City Boardwalk, Cool Girls Liked My Hair
Warm Smell Of Hot Dogs, Smoke Is In The Air
Up Ahead In The Distance, I Saw This Concert
My Beard Grew Longer And My Weight Got Thin
I Had To Sing On The Stage

There She Was With Her Boyfriend
I Heard Him Slap Her Face
And I'm Thinking To Myself
This Could Be New Jersey And This Could Be New York
Then She Drove A Lincoln, And Showed Me The Way
There Were Singers In The Food Store
And This Is What I Said

Welcome To The Hotel New Jersey
Such A Lovley Place
In A Lovley State
Plenty Of Room At The Hotel New Jersey
Any Time Of Year, You Can Find It Here

Her Name Is Tiffany Michaels, She Lives With Bruce Springsteen
She Slept With Lots Of Little Children, That She Calls Teens
How They Sing With The People, Sweet People Came
Some Song To Remember, Some Sing To Forget

So I Called Up Donald Trump
Please Fire This Chick
He Said, Only If You Appear On My NBC Show At Nine
And Still He Says He Is So Far Away
Wake Me Up In The Middle Of The Night
Just To Hear Me Say

Welcome To The Hotel New Jersey
Such A Lovely Place
In A Lovely State
They're Livin' It Up At The Hotel New Jersey
What A Nice Surprise, Bring Your True Love

Mirrors On The Wall
The Pink Girl Of Them All
And It Said, We Are Nice People Here, Of Our Own Rock Band
And In The Master's Crown
They Gathered With The King
They Killed Him With A Shock
But They Just Don't Know How To Sing

Last Thing I Remember Was
Looking For My Beer
I Had To Find The Casino
To The Place I Was Before
Relax Said My New Girl
We Are Filming A New Movie
So You May Steal Pee-Wee Herman's Bike
But You Can Never Sing