she would sit with her knitting, in a parker knoll chair
some folk called her rita, but no one really cared
as long as i can remember, see she was there all the time
she would knit with her wool so thin
she would knit all night

There he stood in the doorway;
nimble like a gazelle
And wearing pants so very tight
his religion well you could tell!
Then she lit up a candle and she showed him the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say

well hung stu met the old girl in the corner
you should see her face (you should see her face)
made her heartbeat race
no more gloom for the old girl in the corner
theres a nice surprise ( nice surprise ) right between his thighs

although her knickers are twisted, and she is wearing depends
She got a lot of wooly knitted toys, that she calls friends
she would knit for the captain colonel or cadet
to cover there members, some were shaped like baguettes

She had answered his advert,
‘she read in a shop'
it read, - need a warmer for willy its far to long for my sock
then he un ravelled his tackle - it went far away,
tripped me up in the middle of the hall
you could hear folk say

well hung stu meets the old girl in the corner
you should see her face (you should see her face)
it sure filled a space
knitting a lot with the old girl in the corner
took a lot of spools( took a lot of spalls)
to cover up his balls

it took some concealing
she knitted all night
And she said, ‘as you are circumcised - ill do it half price‘
after a farewell handshake
stu went on his way
having just met a legend on his
willy warmer soiree

Last night i approached her
in my birthday suit
i was hoping shed knit me
a new case for my flute
can you please make me one
she said are you taking the piss
then she gave me a thimble and said
cover it with this