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Song Parodies -> "Lucasian Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Lucasian Pie"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Lucasian: Of or relating to the films of George Lucas. Menlo Park: The magnificent theater (now replaced by a soulless mall multiplex) where I first saw Episodes IV and V, near the lab where the light bulb was invented, in that New Jersey town now named for the inventor, Edison. Yes, Weird Al did "The Saga Begins" to the tune, detailing Episode I. And he did "Yoda" to "Lola." But, six verses to "American Pie," six Star Wars movies thus far. And besides, I did it for Star Trek. But I'm not doing it for Lord of the Freakin' Rings!
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that movie used to make me smile.
And I knew there at Menlo Park
the Dolby blasting in the dark
I'd watch that stellar opera for a while.

And Obi-Wan's death made me shiver
with red blade Darth Vader delivered.
Bad news on the Death Star.
We heard Lord Vader's breath far.

I do remember that I cheered
when X-Wing Fighter Luke had steered
all those Stormtroopers, they got smeared.
And that's... Epi... sode Four.
(Episode Four?)

So, George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

Did you think they were in love
the Princess and that captain scruff
the guy called Han Solo?
And did you escape that snowy romp
only to crash in Yoda's swamp
and can you teach me how to use The Force 'til I go?

Well, he knew to leave is not allowed
but Luke's friends in trouble in the clouds.
A fight, his hand he'll lose
and then Darth Vader breaks the news!

He was a big, bad Sith Lord run amok
and he's Luke's father, what a shock!
Most fans think that movie rocks
and that's... Epi... sode Five!

And they're singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

Now, for three years, we were on our own
with other sci-fis come and gone
but that's not what we had to see.
Well, they rescued Han from Jabba the Hutt
and Luke and Leia kicked his butt.
Now it's time to go and set the people free.

Oh, and while Ewoks were getting down
Luke faced the Emperor with a frown.
The battle was resumed
and Anakin changed his tune.

And while Rebels partied on Endor
loose ends were tied up evermore.
The Force's balance was restored
and that's... Epi... sode Six.

We were singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

Computer booter, digital router
never mind imagination's neuter.
George aimed high but fell real fast.
Obi-Wan's young, what a blast
A nine-year-old in prequel's cast.
In the podrace, all those guys, he zoomed right past.
Well, a long time's wait, but films resume
with a new John Williams big-band tune.
Tell me, what did you think?
"Oh, I hate that Jar Jar Binks!"
And the Queen's makeup became unpeeled
the Republic's nerves may not be steeled.
At last, the Sith have been revealed
and that's... Epi... sode One.

We were singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

Oh, and there they were, all up in space
a generation out of place.
Why did George have to start again?
So, come on, Jedis nimble, Jedis quick.
Mace Windu's got a purple stick
but Yoda is the good guys' biggest friend.

Oh, and as I watched them on the screen
the Man With the Golden Gun got mean.
No kid from Tatooine
could beat that Dooku fiend!

And as the clones climbed high into the night
to begin their warring flight
I saw Yoda, he knew this ain't right
and that's... Epi... sode Two.

We were singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

I met a girl named Meredith
and asked about "Revenge of the Sith."
Won't give her place in line away.
And I went down to the multiplex
that cuts George Lucas giant checks
and we all saw... Anakin go... far astray.

In Temple, Jedi kids, they screamed.
And Palpatine realized his dream.
Indeed, sad words were spoken.
So many lives were broken.

But the three films I admire most
the ones Mark Hamill served as host
allowed Mister Lucas... to coast
into... Epi... sode Three.

But we're still singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!
George, we are your bank accounting source!"

Yeah, we're singing...
George, George, making films of The Force.
We're all lining, and we're whining, "Let us in now, of course!"
And we all dressed up, and we screamed ourselves hoarse
saying, "George, we are your bank accounting source!"
Oh, by the way, happy 24th birthday to Natalie Portman (Queen/Senator Padme Amidala, Anakin's wife, Luke and Leia's mom). But by the time you read this, it'll be already past... just like her role.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 2
 1
 
 5   13
 12
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry I can't vote, because Weird Al did a similler song to this in the Saga Begins/ Anikan Pie, so.... uh,huh... yeah....
Tim Mayfield - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, I can vote, because Weird Al did an entirely different song to this in the Saga Begins/ Anikan Pie. Tying things to other things is what we do. If we had a contest writing American Pie to a Star Wars theme, I could vote for each one. I couldn't write one, but I could read 'em and vote.
Red Ant - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I did a quick Google for WAY's version. They are quite different. The fives are with you on this Michael.
alvin rhodes - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
very impressive...5s plus
Rick C - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
MASTERFUL! 555
AFW - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm not into the Star Wars thing...but you've almost written a book, here..deserves fives
Arwen - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
This was great, Mr. Pacholek...=) Makes me want to change my name to Amidala for a day...
Kristof Robertson - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
A potted SW history done with Pacholek style...most impressed, am I...mmmm? 555
Agrimorfee - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Best parody I have read today...I was getting really worried that I would not see anything funny or clever today. How can people complain that Al already did The Saga Begins? Come on! 555
Matthias - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Uhm........ sorry, Mike, after reading your's and Al's I noticed they're diffrent.... sorry.... so either the great parody or the jedi mind tricks I gave you fives....
Matthias - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
And I didn't mean that in a bad way, I was just pointing out that Weird Al did a Star Wars song to this as well... no offence ment mate.
Yoness - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Frickin great.
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment
You don't need to apologize, Matthias. This wasn't the Weird Al parody you were looking for. I can go on about my business. Move along. (Hey, you did mention Jedi mind tricks.) Though I did take Al's "My, my this here Anakin guy" to "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie" and turn the Guess Who's "American Woman" into "Hey, Anakin's Woman," so you've got a case.

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