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Song Parodies -> "Suntans Of Sting"

Original Song Title:

"Sultans Of Swing"

Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Suntans Of Sting"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

This is what could happen if Sting lost his musical ability, decided to quit the business and then opened a tanning salon called The Suntans Of Sting. The words match the original studio record - not the inaccurate lyric pages on the net.
He got a favour from a fan
She'd been rubbin' on his tan at lunchtime
South of the border she stopped and she held everything
He said "I better fix it - double quick time"
She felt alright when he did the tantric thing.

And he won't step aside if they chop down too many places
Comin' in, like, with a rant "I hear the trees go down"
Forestation of empty spaces
Ah, with the trees, they grow in that ground
Way on down south, way on down south, Congo land.

They chuck out guitar junk, he blows all the chords
Mind, he's strictly with 'em, he doesn't wanna have to try to sing
One day the old ex-star will say "I'm not a fraud"
Then he'll say "Up under the lights, it's not my thing".

And Trudie doesn't mind now he doesn't make a bean
He's got a skin tan job he's doin' at night
He can rub it inch by inch like anything
Slappin' it on, for skin so white
At The Suntans, at The Suntans Of Sting.

And a crowd of young girls, their drooling abounds in the corner
Moist and dressed in their best clean undies with the cut out holes
He gets in a jam about any strumpet, laying tanned
He ain't got that much self control
At The Suntans, yeah, The Suntans, he lays models.

And then the tenth, she steps right up, she's a lycra zone
And says "At last" just as her G-spot sings
"Goodnight - no more time, now go home"
The he looks down fast at his poor thing
He's at The Suntans, he's at The Suntans Of Sting.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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alvin - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
lol...wonderfully weird concept...but i had no idea that sting had any musical ability to lose
John Barry - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
What Alvin said.
Tim Mayfield - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with alvin and John.. Sting has musical ability? Since when? Oh, loved your version AND you are right, lyric sites are a hoax, they are not to be trusted.
Andy Primus - August 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks to Alvin, John & Tim for your comments - I actually like some of his Police/solo stuff. I play them once in a while when I'm in an MOR mood.

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