When writing crap
It never fails
Whether it's notes
Or sending mail
I'm still involved
In mail termed "snail"
Would, but my pen
Is running low
Damn empty pen
B-I-R-O

I shake it 'round
The ink won't flow
And that sucks balls
Empty biro
You stupid pen
Why won't you flow?
Such a useless
B-I-R-O
Dumped in the bin
Empty biro

Got a spare box
Pens red and blue
Pick a replacement
This one's dead too?
Another pen
Where the ink's low
One more worthless
B-I-R-O
Third time's the trick
I sure hope so
Dead? Not again
B-I-R-O

More pens now, blue, red, black
And each one's as dead as a dead thing
Simile lacks?
Too focused on trying
To find a pen that's great, so far, ain't great
I can't do what I want to do
Write a plan
For the next crime I plan to do

Is this some big practical joke?
Switch my pens with ones that are broke
So I can't write a single stroke
And so my crime goes up in smoke
Paper's still white, makes me feel low
These pens are shite, the ink won't flow
Look 'round my house, there's a no-show
Of pencils, now that's a big load
But there's a lot of dead biros
Both mine and not, their ink is low
And though I may be saying "low"
So one might say that there's still hope
But believe me, when pens are low
They are empty, and that's a load
There may be ink, but it won't flow
Sometimes I think pens hate me so

Just work for me, B-I-R-Os
I need ink, please, B-I-R-Os
For my crime spree, B-I-R-Os
So work with me, B-I-R-Os
Why so empty, B-I-R-Os?
You're all empty B-I-R-Os
No plans for me, B-I-R-Os
I just bought these two days ago!