I don't know what it is, but I'm freaked out by veal
I'm also scared of mimes, and also by the word 'send'
I'm full of paranoia

I'm afraid of Australians
I'm afraid of most girls
I'm afraid of chocolate biscuits
I'm afraid of cans

I'm afraid of hamburgers
I'm afraid of wanting to hurl
I'm afraid of fried chicken
I'm afraid of pants
I'm afraid of anchormen
I'm full of paranoia

I cry when I see chains, and even when I drink Pepsi
I start hyperventilating when anyone goes to kiss me
I'm full of paranoia

I'm afraid of Rice Krispies
I'm afraid of keyboards
I'm afraid of the doorknob
I'm afraid of ants

I'm afraid of the curtains
I'm afraid of iPods
I'm afraid my wardrobe
I'm afraid of glass
I'm afraid of leopard skin

What else am I afraid of? Well, for one, I'm scared of birds
and even monkeys, the queen and almost all of these words
I'm full of paranoia
I'm full of paranoia

I'm afraid of large children
I'm afraid of panthers
I'm afraid of the toilet
I'm afraid to dance

I'm afraid of the light switch
I'm afraid of showers
I'm afraid of baseball
I'm afraid of plates

I'm afraid of blue crayons

Don't put me in a straight jacket
Don't put me in a straight jacket

I'm afraid of yellow paint
I'm afraid of the sun
I'm afraid of the pickle
I'm afraid of pigs

I'm afraid of my wallet
I'm afraid of the globe
I'm afraid of Ben Affleck
I'm afraid of red

Yeah, I'm afraid of jalapenos
I'm afraid of my toes
I'm afraid of surround sound
I'm afraid of cats
I'm full of paranoia
I'm full of paranoia