It's the creepiest look, I'm told
If you gave me ten things to hold
I could carry one in each hand
How it happened, I don't understand

Doctor said it's a rare birth defect
Laughed it off, but my life is wrecked
I'm a freak with this many arms
Forty fingers, not counting thumbs

I can swim like I'm sporting fins
Juggle fifty-five bowling pins
But I don't have a normal life
And it's driving me bonkers

But there's one bright side to this madness
Hey you, look at my fingers go
As I put on a show
Take a look at me, all alone I'm like a rock band
These arms really help me out, you know
I've got the best one-man show
Playing five guitars

No girl I've met ever understands
That it's not my fault that I'm all hands
Hate that eight of my arms must hurt
Whenever I wear a shirt

As I try to get on a bus
Driver yells out an impatient cuss
And it's hard to get through the door
Without scraping my knuckles raw

Seems like every single day
Someone gives me a call to say
That they'd like me to come and work
As a freak at the circus

But there's one bright side to this madness
Hey you, look at my fingers go
As I put on a show
Take a look at me, all alone I'm like a rock band
These arms really help me out, you know
I've got the best one-man show
Playing five guitars