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Song Parodies -> "Weight Loss"

Original Song Title:

"Heroes"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Weight Loss"

Parody Written by:

John Davison

The Lyrics

This song is about the common temptation to abandon a specific resolution, such as a long-term diet plan, during a holiday period.
I, I will be thin
And you, you will be lean
Though nothing will lead us astray
We’ll follow our diets, day after day;
Follow the diet, follow with ease,
Together we’ll crack this, count calories,
Eat proper meals, cut out the snacks
Now we’ve discovered what makes us fat.
We’ll go jogging whatever the weather.
If we can get fit, slowly but surely,
We’d jump and we’d jive, we’d never be poorly.

I, I’ll cut back on booze
And slowly this big belly I’ll lose
Fantastic, I’ll run around the park
Do gymnastics until it gets dark,
Then we shall be healthy, day after day
Ever so healthy, hip-hip hooray!

I, yes I shall resist
Going out just to get pissed
And these diets will take over our lives,
We’ll have salads garnished with chives.
We’ll eat burgers and pizzas no more
Cutting-out calories, oh we shall keep score!
But at Easter, chocolate will win
And we shall eat Aeros just for one day.

Eating at home or dining at venues
Those puddings and cakes
Will be struck off the menus,
Reading those labels
On every packet and tin,
But every Easter
Then chocolate will win.

And we shall eat Aeros just for one day,
Yes we shall eat Aeros just for one day,
Yes we shall eat Aeros just for one day,
Yes let us eat Aeros, hip-hip hooray!
Aero is an aerated, milk chocolate product manufactured by Nestlé; originally produced by Rowntree's. The process of manufacture was patented in 1935. "Getting pissed" is a slang English phrase meaning to drink alcohol to an extent that impairs one's behaviour, well-being and responsiveness. Keeping score of calorific intake has become more practicable over the past decade due to particular Apps for mobile devices, improved product labelling and a great number of television shows about baking, dinner parties and recipes.

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