Song Parodies -> "Sometimes When We Flush"

Original Song Title:

"Sometimes When We Touch"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Sometimes When We Flush"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

You trash me if you want to
And I choke on your reply

I'd rather spurt poo honestly
Than make you think I'm all right

And who am I to judge you
On what you put me through

I'm quietly ingesting
Your pee and your poo

And sometimes when we flush
The crud I see's too much
And I have to close my pipes
Inside

I'll overflow poo 'til I die
'Til your plunge breaks down inside
I'll overflow poo
'Til what's here in me
Subsides

Your pants and all their strategy
Leave me battling with my tide

But through my bin's impurity
Some tender mess survives

I'm porcelain and whiter
Still trapped within my pool

A hesitant shite-biter
Still crapped within by stool

And sometimes when we flush
The quantity's too much
And I have to close my pipes
Inside

I'll overflow poo 'til I die
'Til my float breaks down inside
I'll overflow poo
'Til what's here in me
Subsides

At times I'd like to take you
And drag you to the sea

At times I'd like to bake poo
And mold poo in cookies

At times I stand under you
And I know how hard you've tried

I've watched while Fleet™ commands you
And I've watched your gas go by

At times I think we're partners
Still lurching towards one end

A scatologic artwork ---
Butts and their porcelain best-friends!

And sometimes when we flush
You've dumped on me too much
And I have to close my pipes
Inside

I want to hold you 'til you rise
'Til we both change frowns to smiles
I'm gonna hold poo
'Til your fear of me
Subsides!

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aoid - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

The parody was well paced, but it was tasteless. 5-1-1.

Johnny D - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

aoid, thank you for acknowledging my parody's good pacing. Please describe to me exactly what kinds of parodies, if any, you actually do find tasteful and enjoyable.....and please, aoid, don't simply say "any parodies that avoid toilet humor", because I already know that you personally don't like toilet humor. But please tell me what you DO like ..... there must be something in the parody world that entertains you and makes you happy, isn't there? If so, exactly what is it?

Arwen - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

I'll do what I can to even out the 1s, Mr. D...555 is all I got...

Johnny D - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

Thanks, Arwen! Y'know, Arwen, I was inspired to write this parody by the banter the other day between you, me, and Ashkicksass regarding the song "Sometimes When We Touch". I decided that a syrupy, hokey, over-the-top-gushingly-sappy song like that deserves to be flushed into oblivion right alongside The Mighty Brown Torpedo.

Arwen - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

I figured that the seed had been planted during that conversation. Which should have inspired us all to submit something lovely to that song...in honor of our banter. Only you came through though...you're a machine, Mr. D. That's all I can say.

2Eagle - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

I could never improve on that. I'm printing this out. Although we never admit it we never outgrow toilet humor. All you have to do to get votes is write a parody with toilet words in the title.

alvin rhodes - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

i have a new found respect for my toilet now...thanks....5s

Rick D - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

With you around, the potty is never over. Hopefully.

Dee Range - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

I'm all a-flush with excitement, Johnny. Mr. aoid is having a parody done in his honor, called "ANAL RETENTIVE", done to the tune of Eleanor Rigby. I hope you will do it, since it will be much better than the one I'm working on. I won't post mine till I've improved it. It is rather shitty right now. And 5-5-5 for this,excellent parody!

Dee Range - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

Johnny, I forgot to add that it was probably aoid that dropped 5-1-1 on "SMELLIN HER BIG FEET", my Eleanor Rigby parody from yesterday, so he doesn't like stinky feet parodies either. So a parody about somebody with smelly feet taking a dump is really gonna make him go ballistic. Can you handle it? heh heh heh :-)

Johnny D - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

Thank you, 2Eagle, Alvin, Rick, and Dee.

Dee, I would rather see you write and post those parodies! I'm a fan of your work, and I've seen your excellent pacing and wordplay --- poetry in motion --- so please, go for it, and let ol' Johnny D take a breather and enjoy watching the game from his Sky Box for a change! Thanks for thinking of me! ;-)

Not Saying My Name - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment

Dee, are you sure that it was aiod who voted 5-1-1?

Red Ant - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment

I was searching to see if my idea for this song had been taken, and ran across this. Wow, I had no idea you had written any toilet humor JD. I think you will be most pleased with my take on it given your comments here. And I am more than pleased to know Arwen apparently doesn't like TOS either.

Adagio - October 22, 2006 - Report this comment

I missed this one, Johnny. I have a renewed interest in runnin' down sappy songs.....and making fun of them...You did a good job. It seems to be a universally disliked song, which makes me wonder why he sang it in the first place.

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