Was reluctantly going to the grocery store
Thought I had enough stuff to get through, needed more
Buy one get one free, gettin' the feels
Bakery, what's price each
Got some bubble bath with Dr Teal's

Forks and knives and spoons
Do I have enough of them at home
And I feel like such a big buffoon
When I sometimes stand there trying to decide
I'm taking too much time

Picked up chore boy scrubbers, scour pads
I feel hungry, I'll buy food by the scads
Had a birthday while still in the store, jump on bottom of cart
And then I'll ride down the aisle when I'm feeling bored

Forks and knives and spoons
What have I run out of recently
I feel like such a big buffoon
When they make their closing announcement
And say please leave the store

I went there when in school for our bake sales
Was fun to do, stuff sold well
We took some helium and talked real high
We'd say hamburgers hot dogs one dollar
We would laugh but the teachers sighed

So I fell off the wagon and I'm trying to choose
But I really can't tell in this whole aisle of booze
Found the condoms, seemed hidden for real, lotto ticket for fun
And the larger bottle of Dr Teal's

Forks and knives and spoons
You can never have too much of these things
And I feel like such a big buffoon
When other people decide faster than me
I'm picky with my tea

Forks and knives and spoons
When I'm done nothing left in the whole store
And I feel like such a big buffoon
When forget to buy things, come back before long
It all just feels so wrong