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Song Parodies -> "Bad Seed"

Original Song Title:

"Half Breed"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Seed"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I was going to do this using Charles Manson, but opted for Hitler instead because the relevant info is more readily available from pure memory. At those who take offense, this is a parody. No Nazi nor Hitler apologist strategy.
My father was a bastard not of Germany
Schicklgruber's wife Klara (Polzl) did give birth to me
From Heidler to Hitler, changed his name by law
On April 20, 1889 was born in Austria

Chorus
Bad seed, as far as he was concerned
Bad seed, beat me 'til my body burned
Bad seed, I was resented and abhored
All this led to becoming the most notorious man in the world!!!

Became unsettled, moved from town to town
Dreams of civil service, Nein! had let my father down
I submitted art, but the Jews laughed at me*
As Fuhrer killed 6 million, set all Europe free

Chorus

Nazis accepted me, they knew no shame
In '33 was elected and gained German fame
I had a vision, yes, I had a plan
1000 year Reich of the Aryan Man

Chorus

I only regret is that it didn't go as planned...
* a myth. Anti-semitism was prevalent in Europe and Russia. In WW1, Hitler had no anti-semitism as testified by his fellow soldiers. It came after 1918 "great betrayal" and by "Mein Kamph" (1928) Hitler had laid down his foundation for what would become the Holocaust or Final Solution. So the art school rejection theory is wrong. Hitler was actually more anti-communist and killed 30 million Slavs in German war combat plus millions more used as slave labor. 12 million died in German camps of which the Jews were only half. The rest were Slavs, Roma, homosexuals, political enemies, the severely disabled, mentally ill or retarded, and all other undesirables from all territory of the Reich.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   18
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User Comments

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Patrick - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Hitler believed that had his family kept the name Schicklgruber that he would never have been elected. I handled a Hitler painting at the auction house and sold it for $40,000. He was not a great artist by any means, but as good as any of the mass market oil paintings sold at some of these hotel lobby sales. I've seen pictures of figure drawings, and he could draw the human body as well if not better than most amateurs. Compared to Picasso, you could tell what Hitler was drawing without an art critic to explain it to you. The first criterion of leadership is followers. Hitler would have been just another lonely kook shivering in an unheated Vienna flop house, had not a whole nation been willing to surrender their judgement and morals to him. I once saw an employment document for the Reichsbahn, circa 1912. Their were four oaths of office: one for Catholics, one for Evangelicals (Lutherans), a different oath for Jews and another for Mennonites. Interesting.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick, Hitler had other talents as writer ("Mein Kamph" and "Zweites Bunch"), potential architect, and of course orator. Hitler was groomed by the Nazi Party for the role of Fuhrer which might as well be translated in the German sense of Messiah for the times. Although Hitler did not originate rearmament nor the Autobahn, he finished them. He also came through on all promises of economic and military recovery and restored order. Strength through joy programs gave Germans free food and entertainment (community meals, free concerts, free cruises, many ethnic festivals- all Nazi sponsored). Germany was for a time the envy of Europe and the US (Hitler making Time's Man of the Year)! The 1936 Olympics and Triumph of the Will astounded the world. German technology was also highly advanced civilly with the world's first video phone service, tape technology (magneto phone), video technology, and automobile tech. As for his drawings, Hitler DID help Dr. Porsche with sketches for the VW bug (then Kdf Wagen) which originated in 1932. Hitler helped finalize the design while also working with then architect Speer on the buildings for Germania. So not only did Hitler have talent, but he also accomplished a range of greatly diversified projects in record time. People will always vilify Hitler for war crimes and genocide, but yet not acknowledge what he did get right for his people in record time.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Hitler's sketch of the Kdf Wagen from my book: http://strangevehicles.greyfalcon.us/picturesk/h1.jpg
Jonathan - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
"wags finger" tsk tsk tsk Nazi Nazi! 5's
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Jon, don't you mean Naughty, Naughty??? LOL!!! Thanks!
Torch - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
"The 1936 Olympics ... astounded the world." The Olympics astounded Marty Glickman and Sam Stoller, two world-class Jewish sprinters who were removed from the 4 x 100 m. relay under pressure from Hitler and compliance by Avery Brundage, head of the USOC and noted anti-Semite. Hitler also refused to shake hands with Jesse Owens.

As for Hitler deserving to be acknowledged as doing "right for his people," that is a cliché used by Hitler apologists. "Let's look at all the good things Hitler did." Present-day Germans reject such equivocating crap. He was the worst thing that ever happened to his people! You should have stuck to the parody and refrained from running off at the mouth in your comments.
?? - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
After reading your comments, I wish I could take back my 5s.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
@Torch, the present German generation does not qualify to rate the Third Reich as they were born postwar; however, Nazism still lies under the surface despite the laws. There have been constant reports of Nazism in the Bundeswehr since the 1980s BEFORE reunification and use of Nazi symbology by KSK. Look at their emblem and wording: German victory wreath with Thule sword upright. Motto reads "By WILL alone!" Sound familiar? In operations in Afghanistan KSK stenciled Nazi Afrika Korps palm trees on their vehicles minus Hakenkreuz. In violation of Basic Law Germany created powdered anthrax in 2003 under cover of "military defense research" and shipped barrels of it to the US Army. German Army changed bio suits immediately to butcher type but US requests for the new suit were ignored. In 2003 Germany had 13,000 troops deployed around the world. In 2014 Pegida and AfD were called the new xenophobic pinstripe Nazis who want to expel all Muslims from Germany. In 1930s it had been Communists! All I stated above are facts.
Torch - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
What a feat, Arndt! Blowing smoke and pulling a snow job simultaneously. You're fooling nobody. We're talking about your respect for the "good" Hitler did.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Nope, just stating and reinforcing historical facts from German POV. Did any modern German youth go through post 1918 betrayal feeling, unfair ACC and Treaty of Versailles restrictions, the inept Weimar Republic, the Great Depression where it took 2 million RM to buy a loaf if bread, or feared for their lives with the Communists in the streets? Hell no! Hitler fulfilled all of hiscoromises of restoration of German economic and military power so by 1939 had the world's greatest forces and was the strongest nation on earth. We all wish he didn't go to war and engulf the world on flames a second time with more dire consequences... but the seeds of war were already planted before Hitler was even elected. Weimar started covert rearmament in the 1920s. The German goal always to fight again... Hitler and the Nazis just made things worse. Hitler, BTW, did not originate the NSDAP which arose from the Thule Gesellschaft of 1919. His party number if 7 was falsified. He was in fact number 555!!! And he was groomed for the part of Fuhrer by the NSDAP. The SS came from his bodyguard that replaced the SA and morphed into a staye-within-a-state under Himmler who actually had more control of the Reich than Hitler and Goering put together. Torch, you are unqualified to attack me when your knowledge is so weak and lacking. As for ??, did you not rate the parody? Your comment appears that you want to rate me instead. I just stated facts.
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2015 - Report this comment
My apologies for spell check auto corrections that appear as typos. I accidentally hit send while proofing...
?? - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Funny thing about facts: one can know them down to the most detailed minutiae. But this does not bestow judgment or reason or focus or logic or wisdom on the fact collector. That takes other things, too -- some call it intuition, some say it's commonsense with a dash of open mindedness and an aversion to magical thinking. Most of all, it's self-knowledge.
Rob Arndt - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Thank you for your poor attempt at psychoanalysis! It's just a parody and I don't need to explain anything to you or anybody else (even though I did in the upper comments box which you ignored). Case closed. Again, only the parody should be rated.

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