That old station wagon isn't worth it to show
And oh what I would do for a Monte Carlo
Man I would do whatever I could!
Sell some girl scout cookies
And sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good

Don't you crash that thing!
My parents always told me when I took the wagon
Don't you crash that thing!
Cause when the re-pair man has to come around
You'll lay your money down!

Bought me a gorgeous automobile
Gave it a ride just to get a good feel
Now I'm 16 don't need anyone
Now I've gone and crashed it
Papa's gonna shoot me when he sees what I've done

Don't you crash that thing!
I heard it from my parents when I bought my new car
Don't you crash that thing!
And when my folks see me pull this car around
I'll lay my money down

I had driving schoolin. Never taught me well
With their schoolmarming style
Three months later I'm a gal in trouble
And I haven't driven in a while. Uh-huh
I haven't driven in a while. Uh-huh

The old station wagon isn't worth it to show
And now neither is my dented Monte Carlo
To pay I'd do whatever I could
Get money to fix it by selling a few bottles of Doctor Good

Don't you crash that thing!
Now my parents make me drive that clunky wagon
Don't you crash that thing
And one day when the repairman comes around
I'll lay my money down