You’re asked at all the soirées
Were they ARE hoping his name will drop
You’re lips surgically sealed with colla-gen
Your nose, only slightly cropped
It was sculpted to your career
To play with the Boston Pops
While all the world has to wait for the manswer
Buying your records

So…
WHAT’S HIS NAME?
He probably thinks your song was a tribute
WHAT’S HIS NAME? WHAT’S HIS NAME?
Oh won’t you link this song with the vain dude
WON’T YOU?
WON’T YOU?

Oh, you’ll thank Joan Rivers years from now
As you’re looking more plastique
Well, you can color your salt and pepper hair
To keep you curls looking chic
And you can color the men you’ve loved
To enhance your mystique
I’ll spill the beans, it was Al cappuccino
Decaf with skim milk

So…
WHAT’S HIS NAME?
You probably wrote this song as a gimmick
WHAT’S HIS NAME? WHAT’S HIS NAME?
I’ll bet you’ll link this song to your Ex-Nick
Not Mick!
Not Mick!

My sources say it was Omar Kaddafi
Code word was coffee

So…
WHAT’S HIS NAME?
You probably think you’ve gotten this guys goat
WHAT’S HIS NAME? WHAT’S HIS NAME?
You said it was the guy known as ‘DEEP THROAT’
UNQUOTE!
UNQUOTE!

Well, I heard of your trip to Martha’s Vineyard
And your friends, Spectacular Bid
The you made a bruncheon out of peanut butter
With a shot of Simon Says for the kids
Well you’re mighty cryptic with your lines
Your word is Bond, like that Sean Connery guy
Or the likes of Pierce Brosnin
I could keep goin’

So….
WHAT’S HIS NAME?
You probably think this song is your cash cow
WHAT’S HIS NAME? WHAT’S HIS NAME?
It’s time we put this myst’ry to be now!
RIGHT NOW!
RIGHT NOW!