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Song Parodies -> "Nobody Can't Do Better"

Original Song Title:

"Nobody Does It Better"

Original Performer:

Carly Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Nobody Can't Do Better"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

In response to Sarcastic Paranoid, the coward who won't allow comments on his fascist, lying parodies. Not one of those Not-So-Swift Boat Veterans Twisting the Truth actually served on a boat with John Kerry. But you're right about one thing: Kerry, and Al Gore, SHOULD be bitter, because each knows the better man lost those elections -- and I'm still not sure the 2004 race was fair and square.
Nobody can't do better.
Makes me wish we had the rest.
Nobody would flop half as bad as Bush.
Baby, we're distressed.

We went out looking, and Kerry, we found him.
Thought he would look great in the spotlight.
But hell-boy beneath us, the Bush bequeathed us
was sliming our true war hero each night!

And nobody can't do better.
And all of us wish someone would.
Nobody screws up quite the way he'll do.
Why's he always been no good?

We first went with Albert, a big "figure filbert."
But the getting the most votes meant zippo.
In war, Bush was running, his lies keep on coming.
He won't learn to do what we need him to!

And nobody can't do better.
Makes me wish we had the rest.
Nobody would flop half as bad as Bush.
Georgie, baby
baby, we're distressed.
You're bad, we're distressed.
You're bad, we're distressed.
By the way, S.P.: Your boy is down to 29 percent. The only people who don't hate him now are the rednecks. Even the anti-gay marriage people are hedging their bets now! Go ahead: Comment! I'm ready for you, you big Bush-loving coward!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Ravyn Rant - June 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I really wanted to comment on that parody you referenced, too. As for 2004, have you read RFK Jr.'s article in Rolling Stone yet? Oh, and 555. ;)
MasonR - June 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Right on target as always, Mr. P! BTW the new film about Al Gore, "An Inconvenient Truth" makes me doubly sorry we got cheated out of having him as president in 2000. It's a must-see! (And maybe he'll try again...)
Michael Pacholek - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
God knows he's earned it, Mason, but Gore was recently quoted as saying "Don't count on me running." It is a weird situation: The Democrats, technically, have THREE potential "incumbents": Kerry, Gore and Hillary. While the Republians have three as well, but they all say they're not running: Jeb, Cheney and Condi. But then, we know what THEIR word is worth. As for Ravyn: With Mason's mention of Gore's film, I naturally looked up "Robert Kennedy Jr. Rolling Stone" thinking he was referring to Bobby's environmental work, before Google showed he'd also written one about the election. Guess John A. Barry was talented but mis-titled when he wrote the classic "Brain-Dead In Ohio."

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