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Song Parodies -> "Fanfic Writing"

Original Song Title:

"Kung Fu Fighting"

Original Performer:

Carl Douglas

Parody Song Title:

"Fanfic Writing"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

When you've read your fair share of awful OOC Mary Sue nonsense-fics, it's hard not to offer advice to a newcomer to the medium...

I heard someone was fanfic writing
Those tags are uninviting
I don't want to be harsh with my chiding
But my rage, you are igniting

Sure, your OTP ain't shared, don't care about that now
But at least age 'em up when you have 'em get down
And their canon partners aren't normally such a total arse
There's a better way to ship than to turn their baes to dicks

Keep in mind when you're fanfic writing, huh
And canon breaks are rising
Either go do a little fact-finding, hey, yeah
Most folks hate plot holes, not lying

Or maybe just roll with it and go AU whole-hog
If their whole world was now steampunk (just 'cause), things would go wrong
Allegiances would shift like that, personalities would crack
And with those diff'rences, who'd give a crap about a diff'rent ship?

Lots of people like fanfic writing (huh)
Getting views is exciting (hah)
But when they ask for wholesale rewriting (huh)
You should not call for life-ban smiting (hah), oh yeah

Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (hah)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (type on, type on, type on, type on) (hah)

When you dabble in fanfic writing (huh)
With bad tropes, always fighting (hah)
Can't fault you, cause I know that it's trying (huh)
With the fan rage you're inciting, oh (hah)

Oh-ho-ho-ho (fanfic writing)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (when it's good, it's quite striking)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh, hah)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh, hah)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh) (type on, type on) (hah) (type on)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (huh) (yeah, yeah) (hah)
Oh-ho-ho-ho (one day, you'll rock at fanfic writing)

I may have said this in other fanfic-related parodies, but I don't read fanfiction. Some might say I'm missing out on some great fiction. I say I'm sparing myself from feeling that I wasted my investment when the next official instalment overwrites half of it.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - July 13, 2017 - Report this comment
The best reason to write fanfic is to learn to write sex scenes (and by that of course I mean soft p*orn). You never know if in the future you might land a script writing gig that requires you to do that for a real public, and if you do you don't wanna start from scratch. As a bonus you might figure out before it's too late that those fancy original pick-up lines you've prepared and juggled in the back of your head aren't that great after all and should be avoided in favour of an old fashioned drink.
Jonathan - July 13, 2017 - Report this comment
well, c_o_p, I will say there actually are some good fanfics out there, but a good amount of craparoo, too! 5s
Jonathan Spurlock - July 29, 2017 - Report this comment
It depends on which genre of fan-fiction you like. There used to be a great selection of FFW (fan-fic-writing) about games like X-Com, for example (one of my favorite games, BTW). FFW gives you the chance to flesh out your own imaginations, or how you handled a situation. You could even write something like a "there I was" report, kind of like a "de-brief" after a WW2 mission. The irritants, of course, are legion: misspellings, wrong use of "to/too/two" or "there/their/they're" and the like; poor editing, if any; and the ever popular plot holes! Anyway, good job with the parody and keep them coming!

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