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Song Parodies -> "Cramps Like This"
Original Song Title:
"Born to Run"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bruce Springsteen
Parody Song Title:
"Cramps Like This"
Parody Written by:
Rick Cormier and Andrea Henry
The Lyrics
This parody was the brainchild of Andrea Henry, a very talented Boston comic friend of mine. She was out jogging, when 'Born to Run' started playing on her mp3 player. She sent me a copy of the parody she had written but, while she is an excellent writer, she had no idea about the timing needed to pull off a parody smoothly, especially one that will be recorded. Her first line had about 15 syllables in it, while Springsteen's original line had 20. We collaborated back and forth, exchanging ideas, until we agreed upon this result. Anyone here who knows me, knows that I'm a stickler for pacing and, this piece does not match the pacing of the original so, I don't expect high marks for pacing. Hopefully, you will appreciate some of the rhymes to the original lyric though.
Yesterday at breakfast, I got some eggs
They were smothered in American cheese
At lunch we dined on Mexican gourmet, yeah gooey fried cuisine
Sprung from my belt on highway 9
Chalupa ingested, I been eatin’ way over the line. Oh
Dinner’s Chinese buffet was just a snack
It’s a grease trap, I shouldn’t have had that frappe
Man, something wicked this way comes
Because with cramps like this, babe I’m gonna get the runs
Oh girl, I feel it
Bathroom let me in, I thought food was my friend
Now I got gastric pains and visions
Just wrap my legs around this porcelain rim
God please help my small intestine!
If I could only end this crap,
I just heard a pop!
Sweat pourin’ off of my back
God, the odor in the bathroom is dire!
And, baby I’m just a scared toilet writer
You don’t wanna know how it feels
I know that chili wasn’t mild
But I don’t believe in missing meals
Somebody help me!
Rushed to the ER palace, many hours blown
Nurse screams for my insurance card
My groans draw stares, as she comes nearer
And boy my stomach is rock-hard!
The inducement starts in my deepest parts
I’m befuddled, out of reach, in a mist
Gonna try, once I’m mended, to start eatin’ right
If I ever get through this
HA! WANT TO EAT MORE!
Doctors and nurses spray air freshener in a last-ditch flowered try
Everybody’s out on the run, smells so bad, there’s no safe place to hide
It’s never ending, I’ll fight with the gas
Until the doctors can get my ass under control. Oh
Someday soon, like tonight at 10, at that Indian place
Where we really want to go, I know I’ll eat a ton
But till then cramps won’t quit
Baby, now I got the runs
Uh, Oh! Uh, Oh! (minor accidents)
They were smothered in American cheese
At lunch we dined on Mexican gourmet, yeah gooey fried cuisine
Sprung from my belt on highway 9
Chalupa ingested, I been eatin’ way over the line. Oh
Dinner’s Chinese buffet was just a snack
It’s a grease trap, I shouldn’t have had that frappe
Man, something wicked this way comes
Because with cramps like this, babe I’m gonna get the runs
Oh girl, I feel it
Bathroom let me in, I thought food was my friend
Now I got gastric pains and visions
Just wrap my legs around this porcelain rim
God please help my small intestine!
If I could only end this crap,
I just heard a pop!
Sweat pourin’ off of my back
God, the odor in the bathroom is dire!
And, baby I’m just a scared toilet writer
You don’t wanna know how it feels
I know that chili wasn’t mild
But I don’t believe in missing meals
Somebody help me!
Rushed to the ER palace, many hours blown
Nurse screams for my insurance card
My groans draw stares, as she comes nearer
And boy my stomach is rock-hard!
The inducement starts in my deepest parts
I’m befuddled, out of reach, in a mist
Gonna try, once I’m mended, to start eatin’ right
If I ever get through this
HA! WANT TO EAT MORE!
Doctors and nurses spray air freshener in a last-ditch flowered try
Everybody’s out on the run, smells so bad, there’s no safe place to hide
It’s never ending, I’ll fight with the gas
Until the doctors can get my ass under control. Oh
Someday soon, like tonight at 10, at that Indian place
Where we really want to go, I know I’ll eat a ton
But till then cramps won’t quit
Baby, now I got the runs
Uh, Oh! Uh, Oh! (minor accidents)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
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