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Song Parodies -> "Santa's Scan"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Santa's Scan"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

I'll be feeling you...for Christmas... Here's my T.S.A. entry:

Now Santa had a strange run in, with New york Christmas night
For the TSA flagged his sleigh it seems... after the Jersey state line
Peered through curls hoping it will be a mirage
Making him steer and land, quite the delay,
The deer pulled to the ground, tased at first chance
By workers who reach and grab Santa's pants and pull him to the scanner parade

Now the TSA watchmen pat down jingle bells ringing pulled off to the trash can hurled
And they reach round beard looks like powder could cause riots, lighting chance,
From his redcoat to his tail, tonight felt for weapons in the curls,
This is out of hand....... San..ta just got scanned!

Christmas night gang resembled a pack of wolves looking to fight
They looked 'neath his giant sled surprised to see a red glowing light
Man that could blown up over the Turnpike
That venison could be packed by Jihad Allies
Rudolf he must be stopped, nose may pop, dim that Christmas light,

His bag is dry as weapon toys can't stay
All hand made, they're suspect and seized
Kids nice Ipod could be bomb aides, exploding on the New York scene
With anger Santa shouted.... implored to return to Toy Land.....
The agent now suspects that's code words, down to your knees.. San..ta's.. se..cond... scan!

In the workers lounge the TSA'rs dress in his reddish drape
Outside the backside bare on Santa, for the record, that belt may explode late
Shaved-down reindeer herded in one corner
Depressed as his nose put out, Rudolf looks and whimpers, packed in box

Beneath... on Santa... bare feet meet
Those boots are running through some checks to render that they won't blow off
He whispers of some.... abusal, but then... surrender... took the tunnel from town
His magic scheme was put down as his shouts echo down the city in the night,

Reindeer watch as Santa's Taxi pulls away
And as the guard puts out sweet Rudolf's light
Next day all are surprised with some empty walls
Between wall and floors' there's just tree.. Now the children do fear
Santa's nothing at all, they just stand back and release belief

Ended so quick on that night, they review their moment
And say it was T S A's stand.... but they just killed Christmas, brought it to end,
The night, of, San...ta's.. scan!!!!....................

Copyright 2010

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

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Andy Primus - December 03, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL, especially at the deer being tased.

Do all of your political crooks and creeps have to endure the same treatment, or are they exempt?
Mark Scotti - December 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Andy!!!
WarrenB - December 04, 2010 - Report this comment
To even attempt this with the strange rhythms Springsteen wrote is an amazing accomplishment, so a sincere hats off to Mr. Scotti! I've got one of this song I've been holding on to because of some rhythm revisions.
The Boss would be proud of your TSA opus.
Mark Scotti - December 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm "feeling" very proud of this after those great comments, Warren. Thanks!!!
Mare Garrel - December 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Super awesome parody to a super awesome OS! This coming from the ultimate Springsteen fan! Keep up the good work!
Mark Scotti - December 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Many "presents" of thanks to you, Mare! And many "scans" to you, unobomber(and probable TSA employee...)
Jeff Reuben - December 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Brilliant idea, I love how you put Santa into the screener to add to the holiday feel of the song!
Mark Scotti - December 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, and happy holidays, Jeff!!!
UnKnownVixen - December 15, 2010 - Report this comment
pleeeeeese, don't scan me, Bro ! !
Mark Scotti - December 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Unkown!!
Blaydeman - January 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I like the marriage between Christmas and current events. Overall very good, the only thing was the video you used was crappy quality, it made the parody difficult to match up, otherwise nice work.
Mark Scotti - January 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Blaydeman. I didn't post the video link..
Max Power - January 10, 2011 - Report this comment
They touched Santa's balls!
Mark Scotti - January 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Max! And the magically thing was...they jingled!!!
Below Average Dave - January 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I agree pretty much with Blaydeman, unfortunately it seems this particular song is only available live on YouTube so I had to use my own computer's version to match it up, I still had some pacing issues following it, I've read a lot of TSA parodies lately, but its still neat seeing it done to a Christmas theme considering the timing.
Mark Scotti - January 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I appreciate you opinions and 'feelings" about the TSA, Dave.
Abbott Skelding - January 13, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM: Not a fan of Springsteen, but this was done really well. Nice work!
Mark Scotti - January 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Abbott!
Peter Andersson - January 22, 2011 - Report this comment
No-one has mentioned it yet as a favorite part but I think that mine was that Santa's belt might blow up late, he-he! :-)
Matthias - January 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Interesting take on the whole TSA fiasco that's going on now. Not too sure about the Youtube video seeing that some of the pace didn't match as Dave said and I don't know the OS to back it up but this was still a really great parody.
Mark Scotti - January 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks to Peter & Matthias(yes, Springsteen sings his lyrics in such a haphazzard way, you just have to fit the infections in with the lyric.)
bobpiecheese - January 29, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Even though I know nothing about this apparent TSA fiasco seeing as I live under a rock when it comes to current events (hell, I don't even know what TSA stands for), I still really enjoyed this parody as a satire of the extremely paranoid nature of official peoples. Really well-written, some nice gags, 555 for you!
Mark Scotti - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Bobpie!!!
Mike J - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
An ambitious effort! I give you high marks for creative vision here. If you can imagine The Boss growlin’ and beltin’ it out, it works.
Mark Scotti - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Christmas bells ringing in THANKS to Mike J.
Fiddlegirl - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
And there's no way the FAA would *ever* certify that sleigh! :) Clever idea and take on a tough OS.
Tommy Turtle - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
SPOT - ON!!!! ... Security expert Bruce Scheier frequently blogs about the fact that for all the inconvenience, invasion of privacy, etc., the TSA searches and scans really accomplish very little in preventing or catching t*rr*is*m. Just in case you're interested in a voice of sanity, its No obligation, just a refreshing, *objective* POV. But satire and ridicule are deadly weapons against foolishness, too - great job!!!

I intended to give you three Fives, but the last time I went through airport security, they were confiscated. Something about being able to combine the Fives in the air into some sort of potentially-explosive Fifteen mixture ..... (sigh)
Mark Scotti - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
"Post" holiday and groping thanks to Fiddlegirl(yes, even Santa doesn't get a pass), and TT(I will check out that blog..)

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