I looked down this morning; my butt was gone
My lower half up and ran away
I asked myself "Where's the rest of me?"
Oh, this has been such an awful day

Now what am I feeling?
(What am I feeling?)
I am bisecting
(Terrible feeling)
Hope I'm just dreaming
(More than a feeling)
See my derriere walk away
I see my derriere walking away

My lower half's somewhere on its own
And meanwhile I'm lying here in bed
And I just can't reach the telephone
'Cause I'm just a torso, with arms and head

Now what am I feeling?
(What am I feeling?)
I've been bisected
(Terrible feeling)
Hope I'm just dreaming
(More than a feeling)
See my derriere walk away
I see my derriere walking away

Now will I ever be whole again?
Will my bottom come back today?
Or must I do without my rear end?
I closed my eyes and it slipped away
It slipped away

Now what am I feeling?
(What am I feeling?)
I've been bisected
(Terrible feeling)
Hope I'm just dreaming
(More than a feeling)
See my derriere walk away