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Song Parodies -> "Guy Boobs"

Original Song Title:

"Night Moves"

Original Performer:

Bob Seger

Parody Song Title:

"Guy Boobs"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Dedicated to Merry and Pippin. Thanks so much for inviting me back. Now you’ll know what I’ve been doing for the last few years.
Tits were little, too small
Coulda used a few pounds
Tight shirts showed flat and not round
Dreamin’ of stacked square boobies like big tart pies
And points all my own sittin' way up high
Way up firm and high

I lacked the Schwarzenegger goods top-heavy
No bulging headlights like a '60 Chevy
My shallow cleavage was makin’ me blue

Worried ‘bout my guy boobs
Why not make ‘em big, fat, tall and huge?
Worthless paltry slight boobs
It was bubbertime
Mm-mm, fatty meat bubbertime

I had no bubs, oh no, far from it
I’s just yearnin’ for a nice double-D summit
Like a Bill Hung, my chest was a board
Wishin’ mine were gourds

So I hauled on down to the fitness gyms
To the weightroom, with the Spandex and the muscley chins
I pushed up and bench pressed
I shaved and I Naired
Pectorally impaired

Workin' on my slight boobs
Tryin' to make my top shelf twins protrude
Workin' on my guy boobs
Mm-mm, man-tits ‘n’ bubbertime
Mm-mm, teats, bubbertime, bubbertime

“Hello! My doctor!
You helped me nicely!
And my chest is now a wonder!
Chest is now a wonder!...”

I awoke last night with my inserts tender--
Now enhanced by silicone rendered--
Started rubbing ‘em soft, they measure 42…

Ain't it funny how with guy boobs
When you just don't seem to have that much to prove--
Strange how a guy moves
With a bra exposin’ him…

(“Nice boobs!”) Guy boobs!
(“Nice boobs!”) Yeah…
(“Nice boobs!”) Kinda tender!
(“Nice boobs!”) Aw, sure are tender, my guy boobs!

(“Nice boobs!”) And I’m wigglin’…
Boobius Maximus! (“Nice boobs!”)
Workin’ and waxin’ ‘em! (“Nice boobs!”)
Oh, with the nice boobs! Nice boobs! (“Nice boobs!”)

Oh! (“Nice boobs!”) And they’re tender!
Oh, yeah, yeah, really tender!
©2008 Bob “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” Gomez

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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alvin - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
hilarious...wondrous lines abound
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
What Alvin said
Ethan Mawyer - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Don't know the song, but it's good to see you back on the site again.
Smeg And The Heads - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Fabulous job, full of hilarious lines, tells an all-too-real story ... this is what satire is all about!
Bob Gomez - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you Alvin, Andy, Ethan and Smeg. It's great to be back! I would suggest YouTube for those who don't know the song. Smeg, I don't know about the all-too-real part, but it seems to me there's an awful lot of breast envy happening at the gym. And of course, men are getting more implants than they used to!
Dr Music - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Hillarious. Reminds me of that Tonight Show episode where Pamela Anderson was the guest and Jay kept asking her about her implants. And then later Jay asked her "If you were a man, who would you be and why?", Pamela then replies: "You". Which leads Jay to respond: "That would be great! But why?", Pam's response: "So I can torture you, asking you about your implants."
Bob Gomez - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
OUTSTANDING followup story. Thanks, man, er, Doctor. Hey, the security code was 38D!!
Dr Music - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
You're welcome. I've just recently done a vampire theme parody with Jay Leno as the vampire- it was inspired by those vampire movies of the 80's. Speaking of which, which ones are your favourites? Mine are Fright Night, Once Bitten and The Lost Boys.
Guy - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
I DO know the song and quite well. Amazing pace and syllable matching on this one. Nice to see you back Bob. This one gets the Booby prize!
Bob Gomez - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you, Guy, and no offense intended! And sorry, Doctor, I haven't seen a vampire movie since Dracula met Frankenstein! And it sucked.
Dr Music - September 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I reccomend you go and see the new animated film Igor. Now for my daily check-up. My patient seems to be feeling rather giddy and is giggling for no aparent reason. Oh my, this doesn't look good..according to my calcuations the patient seems to have come down with Hysteriaitis from reading your hillarious parody. Don't worry, he'll be fine. I know the cure for this, a lot of helpings of tomato soup shaped like 5's. My patient will be okay, don't you worry.
PMS - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Bob Gomez - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, and how's that PMS treating you?
whcaudio - January 11, 2015 - Report this comment
Damnit! I was working on a parody of this as well, just called Nice Boobs. Just about a chick who had some nice tits. Not sure if I even want to do it now :(

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