I used to work down the hall
was just a few doors down
everyone's nose there - the tip was brown
They were a pack of "wusses", real wimpy guys
It was clear to me, their loafers were light
Sashayed walking by

Walked in the door and they all said "Howdy"
None of them acted the least bit rowdy
They took their work seriously; it was very true
Overly polite dudes
Always turned important work in when due
All of them were nice dudes
they came in on time

true...they did all came in on time

Not one was dumb, no, there were no dumb sh*t's
And no one there swore, they would all say "Dad Gummit"
They were no fun; wouldn't "wedgie" your drawers
Whole place was a snore
Wouldn't steal a pen; they were too damn good
Cleaned the bathroom, made coffee, polished the wood
Desks were neat, always clean
clean, polished shoes, they gave off glare
They had neatly trimmed hair

Overly polite dudes
Not one of them would swear or dare act rude
Always in real good moods
Putting in overtime
Yeah, they sure put in overtime; all the time

Not one
was a grumbler
Did real nice things
Went to Charity Funder's
Always called their Mother's

There was no strife; no one was a bummer
I would doze off; was so bored I slumbered
Then I woke up and I told them all to get screwed
They all stared 'cause I'd said words crude
Completely stunned by my bad attitude
Expletives I did spew
It was so gross to them

[long pause and then slowly re-starts instrumental with acoustic guitar, building as the other instruments come in]


Oo-ooh
You bite, dudes
Oo-ooh
that's right, dudes
all too polite, dudes
but I'm rude
and so crude
yeah, I'm rude and crude
and you can all go get screwed, dudes
Yeah, I'm rude
real rude
real rude, and crude with a
bad attitude, dudes, true
I'm rude, and crude,
and lewd, yeah,
got a bad attitude
yeah, I'm lewd
and I work in the nude, too
ass-kissing
you dudes - always ass-kissing
all you jerks at work
always ass-kissing, yeah
yeah, yeah, man
always ass-kissing
practicing submission
and ass-kissin'
with derision I'm dismissing
all that brown-nose, suck-up ass-kissing
...yeah, so kiss my member
kiss the end there
yeah, kiss the end there
yeah, kiss my member
kiss me, man, right there...
Ooh, yeah, yeah
oh, oh, kiss me right there
kiss me there
kiss me there
oh, kiss me there, yeah
and this song ends here...