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Song Parodies -> "Hooked On The Stealing"

Original Song Title:

"Hooked On A Feeling"

Original Performer:

B.J. Thomas

Parody Song Title:

"Hooked On The Stealing"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics


If you must steal then make it worth your while - steal big so that you only need to do it once.

(Instrumental introduction)

I cannot stop stealing,
Boosting suits and neckties,
Anything for free.

What gets stoles free,
No alarm's in sight.
Take a free throw,
Then you leave them light.

I,I-I-I-I, I'm hooked on the stealing,
High on receiving,
What don't belong to me.

Rip off thieves are handy,
Erase a product line.
Stores, they must keep and search me,
Just to see what they can find.

You'll be so had at your store,
Attract me like a lure.
I'll stay un-convicted,
'Cause nope, you can't secure.

All this good stuff,
I can't leave alone.
Rippin' off more,
Yeah, it turns up gone.

I,I-I-I-I, I crook by concealing,
Hide what is leaving,
That out I lug with me.

(Short instrumental)

All I could lug,
Out the store I own.
Sneak it out door,
How I earn, I pawn.

I-I-I-I'm-a, crook drawn to stealing,
I'm high on deceiving,
What's scored is lugged out free-e-e-e-e.

(Instrumental fade)

Acknowledgment - Michael Pacholek penned a parody with the same title back in July 2005. I guess I put the cart before the horse on this one. I wrote the parody and then checked the search application. The original parody title belongs to Michael.

Check out Michael’s Parody

A plug on Michael’s parody is the least I can do for "borrowing" his title. Give it a read, it’s worth the time.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Keough - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job on the syllable matching rhymes!!!...555!!!...But I must advise you that if you continue with your wayward ways, this might end up being your fate:
Christie Marie M - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Clever parody sequel to "Hooked on a Killing". Awesome crime related parody. Kleptomaniac humorous content in your song. Excuse me while I steal 3 sets of 5's for ya, Guy!
alvin - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
giving you need to steal them
Mark Scotti - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
This song seems like it was made for this parody. Wonderful rhymes don't get you time, they get you fives....
Jim Rotondo - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
High fives all around, what a refreshing parody to a grand old song, sang out perfectly.
malcolm higgins - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
stole my heart right away
AFW - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Still into crime themes, I see...great job
Tim Hall - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody gives an adrenaline rush like stealing does to some people.
Tommy Turtle - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
No one "owns" a title switch, so long as your version is substantially different, but it was nice to have acknowledged the previous version. It's happened to us all -- moi included. Fives for your Winona Ryder tribute. (it was, wasn't it?)

Kristie (lol) Marie M: Very impressed at how good your Spelling be! ... nice subtle hint to Guy, there.
Guy - May 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Leo - I read your CCR parody and left a comment there. When you read it you will realize that I am not likely to be a candidate for falling prey to that fate. Thanks for your comment and I enjoyed your CCR parody.

Christie Marie - I'm surprised that you remembered "Hooked on the Killing". I wrote this parody on the same day but I got busy and wrapped around the axle and forgot about it until now. And thanks for being so subtle on my use of “Cleptomanicly”.- there is no such word and that is why it is in quotes. I used a website called which is a pretty good dictionary and I typed in a wildcard entry as follows: " clepto* ". It would seem that it is correct to spell the word beginning with a "C" or a "K" but according to the definition of both words the one starting with "K" best suits my meaning in this parody. Thanks for your comment. =;-)

But Alvin - I'm hooked on the stealing - why can't I just boost a few fives? - Thanks buddy.

Mark - I'm glad you enjoyed the read - thanks.

Jim - I didn't think this parody was all that great but if you say so - thanks.

Malks - Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Farce - There is something about crime that fascinates me so. I'll be OK as long as I can keep the fascination to fantasy. Thanks, buddy.

Tim - I'm just thankful that I fear the consequences of stealing and that I do not get a rush from it. I write a lot about crime but its just a hobby. Crime usualy pays until you get caught. Thanks.

TT - I've been jumped on for doing this inadvertantly and flamed on badly in the comments. Besides I believe in giving credit where credit is due. All my work is original although I have been accused of not being absolutely original on occassion. I once did a Christmas parody on "Deck the Halls" called "Wreck the Malls" only to have a comment written telling me that some other lesser known than Weird Al parody performer did one with this theme. And yes I've had lots of my ideas played off by others. I like to give the writer the benefit of the doubt and keep my comments to myself about it because it happens. Thanks for your comment.
Mare Garrel - May 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Hysterical. I could just hear David Hasselhoff doing this version. :-D
Lady0'Crime - May 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, Love the themes of Crime & Slime, especially from a Saintly Knight So Bold, as thou truly be ist !
Guy - May 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Mare - You lost me on your comment - I always equated Hasslehoff as being a drunk - This is about Kleptomania. Did I miss something about DH having this problem as well. It seems it is more appropo to Winona Ryder a few years back - Nonetheless I always enjoy comments on my work and I thank you for reading and commenting. You've made it plain that you enjoyed this read - much appreciate.

M'Lady! Where have you been? It is so nice to see your support back into my comments gracing my pages.

As far as crime parody goes, and I seem to find it irresisitable to put fingers to keyboard on this subject. I do my share of this theme, although I have never been associated with anything criminal, you know the old saying, "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives". You can also pick your seat and your nose but one should never pick these parts of the anatomy of ones friends or relatives for that matter. So happy to see you again and I've been in sort of a slump lately but I feel that I will be writing again soon. Looking forward to seeing your signature gracing sentiments in my comments section. Oh, and BTW, I have seen lately that some of the author's have been encouraging you to write some parody. Take the leap and do one. I think you will find the authors on this site for the most part giving you support. You have certainly given a lot of us your support. Again, so nice to see your comments again. I missed reading your witty comebacks. Ciao my online friend.
blackjack21 - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Reading this late, but it would be a crime not to tell you it was great. I'm in the mood for shoplifting some fives for you!

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