I am the legislator, and I know just where I stand
another set of speeches that are getting out of hand.
Today I am the Congressman to Capitol Hill you've sent.
But I know the game, you'll forget my name
and I won't be here in two more years
voted out with the "President."

I am the legislator, and I've had to pay my price.
The things I did not know at first, Karl Rove has told me twice.
Aw, but still they come to haunt me, in the form of Tom DeLay.
And I'm really pissed at the lobbyists
with their hands in the till, so I write 'em a bill
and they go their merry way.

I am the legislator, and I've been all around the world.
I've made all kinds of junkets, and brought my office girls.
I can't remember faces. I don't remember names.
Aw, but what the hell, you know it's just as well
'cause after a while and a smarmy smile
it all becomes a shame.

I am the legislator, and I bring to you the laws.
I'm always re-elected, despite my character flaws.
I've got to meet the leaders, who say I must stay in line.
And I don't dare defy the committee chair
so I act like a dork and I vote for his pork
and that's why I feel like slime.

I am the legislator, the tobacco lobby's man.
You heard me give me latest speech last night on C-SPAN.
A tax cut for the wealthy, it was the best bill of my life.
Over a trillion bucks, but you're out of luck
'cause the Democrats didn't like all of that
so I went home to my third wife.

I am the legislator, with a style that's oh-so-deft.
The boys across the aisle, they wing it way too left.
You've seen me in the papers, and I've been in the magazines.
But if I vote wrong, I won't stay long.
The soul I gave away to the N.R.A.
won't amount to a hill of beans.

I am the legislator, and I know just where I stand
another set of speeches that are getting out of hand.
Today I am the Congressman to Capitol Hill you've sent.
But I know the game, you'll forget my name
and I won't be here in two more years
voted out with the "President."