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Song Parodies -> "Marshawn Lynch"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Marshawn Lynch"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

On Super Bowl Media Day, Seattle’s star running back Marshawn Lynch gave non-response responses to all of the questions was asked. But, while he refused to cooperate with the national media, he kept a diary (which included some thoughts on his opponents and some of the media requests), and AmIRight has obtained exclusive rights to this diary.
It’s the week before the Super Bowl,
We players are meeting the press
Who attempt to ask clever questions,
But it’s all journalistic excess.

They force us to converse with the media.
I’m not really sure why that’s so,
But I will smile sweetly and shun them completely
And not say things they don’t need to know.

La la la de de da
La la de de da da da

“Give us some replies, Mr. Marshawn Lynch;
Is there more on your mind
Than just putting up with our frivolity
To make sure that you don’t get fined.”

Now Tom at the mike is a pretty boy
Who comes when his trophy wife calls.
And like his receivers, she is a believer
That he does his best work with small balls.

He says, “Bill, your grey hoodie is killing me.
Why can’t you show a little more flair?
Well, I’m sure that the team would respect you more
If you had Katy Perry-blue hair.”

Oh La la la de de da
La la de de da da da

Now Bill is the Patriot patriarch
Who doesn’t time for a wife
And though he’s a world-beater, he’s also a cheater,
And probably will be for life.

And the experts are all making predictions
And telling tales about folks they’ve known;
And I’m laughing at their silly opinions,
Which is better than sharing my own.

“Regale all of us, Mr. Running Back;
Regale us without cease
Since Sports Center’s in need of material,
And you make our ratings increase.”

As YouTube highlights get people’s attention,
The commissioner gives me a frown,
For he knows it’s my crotch that they coming to watch
But I still think he’s the big clown.

And the Super Bowl itself will be ecstasy,
But Media Day seems like a year,
So please go to the room with the Legion of Boom,
And don’t ask me what I am doing here.

Oh La la la de de da
La la de de da da da

“Entertain us all, Number Twenty Four;
Entertain with your wit.
Well, we’re all in the hunt for celebrity
And you are the one who is it!”

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Well written. Lynch probably surprised everyone when he replied to questions about why he didn't get the ball when they were one yard away and he said that it was a team game.
John Jenkins - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Thank you, Timmy. I commend Mr. Lynch for not throwing his coaches (or teammates under the bus). That is for those of us who write parodies to do.
Patrick - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
While I enjoy watching the Kansas City Chiefs, I don't see how the local news channel can spend more time commenting on the team each Sunday than it takes to play the game itself. I'm glad when the season is over and I can watch "Face the Nation" again. I did catch one pre-Super Bowl interview in which the subject remarked that the game would come down to "whichever team plays better". How profound! Personally, I think the team that wins will be the one which scores more points than its opponent. That shows my expertise and insight.
Michael Pacholek - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
I'm giving this Super Bowl XLIX parody a V. And you can quote me on that!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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