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Song Parodies -> "Republican"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Luke Russert, son of Tim and now a journalist himself, says, "The businessmen and women drinking in the cafe car is straight out of a Billy Joel song." . Right, then.
(instrumental opening)

It's 9:00 on a Tuesday.
The first returns are coming in.
There's an old man at the podium
talkin' love of the Constitution...?

He says, "Son, I can play you a memory.
I'm very much sure how it goes.
We all baked our own bread, and did not need the Fed
and did not let black folk wear good clothes."

La-da-da, da-de-dah...
La-da, da-de-dah, da-dum...

Sing us that song, you're Republican.
Sing us that song tonight.
Well, you're all in the mood for some perfidy.
You want you a President who's white.

Now, John at the bar says, "My friends" again.
He ran two times -- or, was it three?
And he's weepin' and wailin', places all blame on Palin.
The White House is where he'll never be.

He says, "Mitt, four years back, you were killing me,"
and the smile runs away from his face.
"And now you're off to South Carolina where
Dubya ended my first run that place."

Oh, la-da-da, da-de-dah...
La-da, da-de-dah, da-dum...

Now Newt is a historian Congressman
who never had time for two wives.
And there's Ricky Santorum, without much decorum.
Pro-war, but he says he's pro-life.

And the waitress is so sick of politics
as the businessmen slowly get stoned.
Yes, they're searching for something called Delegates
so they can get their man into White Home.

(piano break)

Sing us that song, you're Republican.
Sing us that song tonight.
Well, you're all in the mood for hypocrisy.
And none of you is all that bright.

It's a very long ride to Election Day
and Obama, he's got a big smile.
'Cause he knows that it's you that he's gonna plow through
and he'll stay President for while.

And Rick Perry sounds like a carnival
or like guy who's drunk on Lone Star Beer.
And how much can Mitt give to show he's conservative?
They say, "Mitt, what are you doing here?"

Oh, la-da-da, da-de-dah...
La-da, da-de-dah, da-dum!

Sing us that song, you're Republican.
Sing us that song tonight.
Well, you're all in the mood for nineteen-fifty-three.
'Cause Obama, he stops the far right.

(instrumental close)
Oh dear, I didn't mention Jon Huntsman. That's okay, neither do Republican Primary voters.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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 5   5

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Huntsman sounds far too rational for the current bunch of Republicans - who'd have thought that going with evidence on things like AGW & evolution could be so unpopular. ::-)
Glen S - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Great use of the song Mike. Especially enjoyed the Newt and Santorum couplets and Mitt give/Conservative. Well done.
Patrick - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
In 1953 I was so much younger then, I'm older than that now. The Democrats are on the side of the poor and downtrodden. That's why they want to keep them poor and downtrodden. Otherwise they'd vote Republican.
Patriot - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Huntsman went from 1% to 17% in NH, from bottom to third place. I would say Republicans took notice and voted for him. Or do Democrats just make things up as they go??? Obama's failed domestic policies and big government spending don't seem to register with him. Vote D for Denial. I hope in November when he loses that his arrogance and smugness evaporates. One of the worst Presidents in U.S. history with three times the debt that GWB left us with. If he had it his way and could spend forever, he would be at five times that level. No way American can even afford Obama and his detrimental healthcare plan.
Michael Pacholek - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
"Patriot," you're a goddamned liar -- and no patriot. 10 trillion to 15 trillion is NOT "three times the debt that GWB left us with." And Obama HAD to spend that money because Bush left us with a depression. That's what you do to fix a bad economy: You spend a lot of money. Exactly what domestic policies of Obama's have "failed"? The stimulus created 2 million jobs, and ObamaCare is already driving down health care costs. He also did what Bush refused to do: Appoint 2 Justices to the Supreme Court honest and intelligent enough to know that corporations are NOT people. Obama is the best President since... well, since Bill Clinton, anyway. Bush was the worst President since Buchanan. That's James, not Pat. I'm guessing, since your understanding of current events is so futzed up, you're not very good with history, either.
O. Feelya. - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice. Some of us Repu- I mean 'conservatives' are frightened by this freakshow as well.
constitution guy - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment
" You want you a President who's white." bush had more minorities in office in his first year than slick willie did in 8. the race card doesnt fool anyone anymore. cain was my man until old dirt blew him out. worse dirt didnt seem to blow out clinton when he lied and did his mess however. liberal voters just wanna win, not host integrity race card is old hat dude but it shows how desperate demoncrats will become as there is nothing odumba can run on policy wise.
O.F. - January 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Yah, the constant references to the President as "dumb," despite all evidence (whether you agree with his policies or not) nothing to do with race. Nah.
A different patriot - January 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Oh hell yeah, we are doing great. 2 million jobs added. After we lost 4 million. 2 mil more to go libs. Unemployment peaking over 10%. Will go back up over 9% after the sesonal holiday workers are let go. Millions quit looking for jobs. Guess those poor basterds no longer count. People on food stamps up 13 million. Competant doctors quitting, doctors with accents you can't understand replacing them. Obama, high IQ, but a MORON when it comes to ECONOMICS. 4 more years oughta bring about Greece in America. Buy more guns and ammo people, you're gonna need it.
But wait.... - January 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Obummer wants to raise the debt limit another 1.2 TRILLION. Debbie Wasserman Shultz, leader of the DNC, caught in a big lie. She said we've added millions of manufacturing jobs. Hey Debbie Dumb@$$, it's 303,000! No wonder Ed Shultz called her stupid.
Michael Pacholek - January 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Yeah, after we lost 4 million because of Bush. Conservatism doesn't work. You wanna buy guns? Go ahead: The Black Man has tanks. Jets. Bombs. If he has to go General Sherman on your fascist ass, he will not hesitate. Ask Osama bin Laden. Oh, that's right, you can't -- because Obama killed him.
L.M.F.A.O. - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Russia had Tanks. Jets. Bombs. They got humiliated and sent packing from Afghanistan. 80,000,000 gun owners in America. When the next Civil War comes, the majority of the Armed Forces will not take orders from a socialist, anti-American president. They'll join forces with the Patriots. Obutthead didn't kill Osama, Seal Team 6 did.
Richard Murphy - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Michael. Wonderful job. You turn a good phrase. Why aren' t these folks reading other poems instead of clogging your space with partisan debate?
L.M.F.A.O. - January 24, 2012 - Report this comment
A good phrase turned indeed. No quibble there. To bad MP has the worldview of a 8 year old brought up by tree-hugging socialists.

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