(instrumental opening)

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
How many years has it been?
There's the old man who sat next me.
He looks well-preserved by the gin.

He says, "Son, you're ingrained in my memory.
I remember the song I once knew.
It was sad, it was sweet, I remember complete:
It's 'I Only Have Eyes For You.'"

La-da-da, da-dee-da..
La-da, la-dee-da, da-dum...

"Hey, look who's back: The Piano Man!
Look who's come back here tonight!
Well, we're all in the mood for a memory
and you got us feeling all right!"

Now John owns the bar that he tended once.
He's made a few bucks off of me.
And he rings up the till from the memories of Bill
and there's no place that he'd rather be.

He says, "Bill, thanks for all that you did for me!"
and the smile covers all of his face.
"I got moguls and rockers and movie stars,
thanks to you, coming into my place!"

Oh, la-da-da, da-dee-da..
La-da, la-dee-da, da-dum...

Now Paul is a best-selling novelist
who leaves the real estate to his wife.
And he's talking with Davey, who's much more than Navy:
He ended Osama bin Laden's life!

And the waitress who practiced the politics
she got elected Mayor back home.
I did all right after I got out of here
and it looks like I wasn't alone!

(instrumental break)

"Hey, look who's back: The Piano Man!
Look who's come back here tonight!
Well, we're all in the mood for a memory
and you got us feeling all right!"

It's a pretty good crowd at the haunt-of-old
and old Johnny, he gives me a smile
'cause he knows that it's me who brought him prosperity
and enriched all their lives for a while.

And the piano's still there, and it's kept in tune
but the mike, it still smells like a beer.
Hanging over the bar is a pic of the star
saying, "Billy wrote that famous song here!"

Oh, la-da-da, da-dee-da..
La-da, la-dee-da, da-dum!

"Hey, look who's back: The Piano Man!
Look who's come back here tonight!
Well, we're all in the mood for a memory
and you got us feeling all right!"

(instrumental close)