it's nine o'clock on a saturday,
and the young worried girls shuffle in
there's a young mum sitting next to me,
asking where her daughter has been
she said, Malcolm, this life was a fallacy
I'm now convinced that it blows...
and I put my arms out, she came to me,
I said, sorry, but here's how it goes....
Da da da de de da
da da de de da da da

life can't go wrong with a diapragm,
get her to wear one tonight
it will always prevent her first pregnancy
just make sure that it's fitted just right

now John at the end is a friend of mine,
his daughter gets tested for free
with his daughter he begs not to open her legs
but he's hoping for ster-il-it-y

he says Mal, I believe this is killing me
as his daughter just ran from the place
as she screams I'll now be a porno star
just get me right out of this place

now Paul is a pregnancy analyst
trends that go down, and some that go ups
there's some gender positions, that cause premonitions
a boy or girl, maybe some pups??

and there's people still practicing abstinence
all unhappy, and terribly zoned
as they're sharing a thing they call loneliness
but that's cause their life's without bones


it's a pretty new crowd from last Saturday
and the nurse's aide gives me a smile
now it's off to the ranch that old malky runs..
to forget about guys for a while


Sing us a song, of the diaphragm
get them to wear one tonight
when it comes to pevent teenage pregnancy
they've got her covered all right.

and the diaphragm looks like it's optical
she explains that it goes in right here
then she asks where they've been as she inserts the cream
and says "there, go have sex without fear"


Da da da de de da
da da de de da da da
Sing us a song, of the diaphragm
get them to wear one tonight
when it comes to pevent teenage pregnancy
they've got her covered all right.