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Song Parodies -> "Honest Abe"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Honest Abe"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

For the greatest of American Presidents, my favorite musical performer of all time (not to mention my most parodied performer).
If you search for bravery, it isn't hard to find.
Men risking their lives, their land to live.
But if you fight for slavery, you might just as well be blind.
It always stands as what we can't forgive.

Honest Abe is such a lonely guy.
To our land he's staying true.
Honest Abe, he sure ain't feeling high.
He wants freedom and peace for you.

I can always find someone to say they will appease
'cause they won't march after General Lee.
But I don't want some talking tough, I want some elbow grease.
That wins battles in eighteen sixty-three!

Honest Abe is such a lonely guy.
To our land he's staying true.
Honest Abe, he sure ain't feeling high.
He wants freedom and peace for you.

"I can fire McClellan! I can hire Grant!
I can have security, though Congress raves and rants!
General Sherman comforts me with Georgia in his hand.
I know. (I know.)
I know, whoa-whoa-whoa."

When I'm down in old D.C., don't get too concerned.
I will thank the man who stood so tall.
Freedom's perpetuity, tell me, where else should I turn?
A temple at the west end of the Mall!

Honest Abe, the greatest President.
Saved us and freed slaves, it's true.
Honest Abe was really heaven-sent.
And such contrast with W.
Talking tough, without elbow grease, won't win wars in 2004, either.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
perhaps the last honest republican ?...5s - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Impressive set of parodies you've done here, Michaelopedia. I wish I weren't so clueless about most of the 43 administrations. Here's to #44.
They hated him too... - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
...and Abraham was right and his critics were wrong, just as W is right and his critics are wrong now. Points off, lie-boy.
John Jenkins - June 05, 2007 - Report this comment
The last line was gratuitious, but the rest of the parody was good.
Linda - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Awe yss - he was a good president, who you would have hated, slammed and whined over week after week if you were around then. And that bloody civil war the demoncrats fought so that tehy could keep ownership of their property, the slaves is just an old-fashion example of what your party still is today - self-serving ego-centric haters who will put their own needs over the needs of the people and country. Three things good came out of that war, the freedom for the slaves, the birth of the GOP, created by those who beleived in the freedom and rights of slaves and beating the shyt out of those immoral value-less democrats! Sadly, you learned nothing from Abe as you still are a party of bahsing, self-centered ego-trippers who only care about their own piddly selves. Your party needs to get thier butt whipped again - you obvisouly haven't learned from your greed in the past as you continue to practice it by repeating it over and over and over again.

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