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Song Parodies -> "Barely An Alpha"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Barry Manilow

Parody Song Title:

"Barely An Alpha"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A beta tester sifts through a pretty crappy beta. Well, "beta"'s being generous...
Be-be-be-eta te-te-tester
Be-be-be-eta te-te-tester

Freelance game tester, kind of a huge nerd
I know what glitches should be spa-ared and which bugs must be repaired
But what you gave me, it lacks the first part
I'm sorry, it's not up to pa-ar, I don't think you worked that hard
The hitbox of the sword is way too big, I'm sure
Cause I swung and I hit that ogre two miles cross the floor

This game beta's (beta) barely an alpha (barely an alpha)
More bugs than a run-down cabana (geez)
Yes, your beta's (beta) barely an alpha
Voice clips misplaced and poor looped animation
Tried your beta...afraid it sucks (be-eta's)
Barely an a-alpha

Not all that's wrong, though, let's take the backgrounds
There's only single colours there, at a shade that I can't bear
It looks unfinished, needs a look over
In side-quests, I didn't get fa-ar, the text boxes are too sparse
The dialogue is crude, the characters are too
I'm impressed that you tried for lip-flaps, but they don't match, dude

This game beta's (beta) barely an alpha (barely an alpha)
Horse model looks like an alpaca (geez)
Yes, your beta's (beta) barely an alpha
There's really bad draw distance, it's an eyesore
Tried your really sucks (be-eta's)
Barely an a-alpha

Be-eta? Barely an a-alpha
Hardly an a-alpha
Faces look sla-apped on, textures are tacked on
Be-be-be-eta te-te-tester

This test is over, hate to be a jerk
But I just can't approve this, no-o, I'd prefer E.T., you know
So many bad jokes, all of them dated
I'm normally not one to swea-ear, but get the fuck outta here
You're wasting precious time, and worst of all, it's mine
Don't care if your best mates with Kojima, you're no friend of mine

Cause this beta's (beta) barely an alpha (barely an alpha)
Your "acid"'s just recoloured magma (geez)
Yes, your beta's (beta) barely an alpha
Admit it's rubbish, you won't get it published
Tried your beta...dear Lord, it sucks (be-eta's)
Barely an a-alpha

This game beta's (beta) barely an alpha (barely an alpha)
Is that a black bear or a panda (geez)?
Yes, your beta's (beta) barely an alpha
Played for ten ho-urs, for good points, I've scoured
I've found nada
This game beta's (beta) barely an alpha (barely an alpha)
Just crashed for the fifth time, goddamnit (geez)
Yes, your beta's (beta) barely an alpha

I can't hear the chorus of the song without seeing Patty and Selma in togas and seashell bras in my head. This is, of course, immediately followed with "Oh, God, they're hideous!" "Woof!" "Uff!" "Someone gouge my eyes!" "Someone save me from the LAY-DEES!"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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Jonathan - July 29, 2016 - Report this comment
you Beta believe it! 5's

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