Well I tried to sneak out Sunday, just to get the morning news
But it wasn't any fun day, I forgot my shorts and shoes
My thin robe caught on the doorknob, and the front door quickly shut
And I stood there in the snow flashing my butt

Well, the children stopped and stared at "Mr. Cold and Bare" outside
And the howls of laughter blared at "little me" and my raw hide
I was lit'rally embar-assed, and the windows were all locked
Like a madman I just ran around half-cocked

And the neighbors used their cell phones
And a black and white replied
I fell down and broke my leg bones
But my cries for help denied
Well, I just can't take it
There's no explaining
How I got naked

Well, I went down to the station, "Mr. Cold and Bare", the letch
And they gave me some warm coffee, once I stopped inside to retch
Now I got some big "esplainin", even then I'll have to move
For once on that list, no innocence you prove

For the neighbors used their cell phones
And that black and white rolled in
I fell down and broke my leg bones
And they said that I had sinned
Well, I just can't take it
There's no explaining
How I got naked

Boo cop, boo cop, boo cop, boo cop