On the switchbacks down the canyon
I am holding on for dear life
There are crags and cliffs and steep ravines
There’s a wetness in my jeans
The last thing I need, is to fall on my ass
Off the trail‘s narrow ledge
My nerves are shot, as I ride wide eyed
While looking over the edge


Riding down a canyon on a mule who ain’t trained
Does no good to let out on the reigns
My companions, made me a pawn in their game
Bet they’re having fun, while I’m going insane

He-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
Ye-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw


After four miles, down the precipice
My face begins to turn white
After five miles, of ‘unbridled bliss’
I am frozen in a fit of fright
Now my bowels let loose, and I can’t stop to deuce
So I clench my buttocks real tight


You see I’m goin’ down a canyon on a mule who ain’t trained
Does no good to pull in on the reigns
There’s no bathroom, where I might render a change
And there ain’t no one who don’t think I ain’t strange


He-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
Ye-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw


After ten miles, I can relax my cheeks
Cause the canyon has met a creek
So I drop a turd, and wipe with leaves
I’ve never felt so relieved
The forest is a bathroom, when you have to make doo
And a hotbed for poison oak
So don’t be hasty, when have to go pooh
A rash on your ass is no joke


Now I’m goin’ back up the canyon on the mule who ain’t trained
With my hand grabbed tightly on his mane
My companions, won’t be forgetting my shame
‘They’ve been poking fun with my buttocks inflamed


He-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
Ye-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
He-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
Ye-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
He-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw
Ye-Haw, haw, haw haw haw haw haw, haw, haw haw haw