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Song Parodies -> "E.T.’s Cuteness Goes To His Head"

Original Song Title:

"How You Gonna See Me Now"

Original Performer:

Alice Cooper

Parody Song Title:

"E.T.’s Cuteness Goes To His Head"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

The fact that Earth folk find E.T. cute causes him to get a little bit ahead of himself.
Here’s the full transcript from when he phoned home.

Youtube of Original Song here or at
Dear Darlin, surprised to hear from me?
It’s your astro-naughty husband - ugly ole ET
Just to let you know
I’m gonna be home soon
kinda got myself mislaid
out on Earth…
just past Neptune

But if you could see me now
I’m no longer ugly babe
coz these earthlings
find me cute
in ohhh so many ways
Seem to like my big big eyes
and how I stagger sloshed
and they say they really like
the way my head looks squashed

Listen darlin,
now I really do regret
sneaking off the ship to smoke that funny cigarette
I got bloody hungry
out there all alone
then these Reese’s Pieces just appeared,
wrappers face-up,
in a row

But if you could you see me now
Seems I even FART rainbows
Here they even
like how my
infec-ted finger glows
On this day called “halloween”
baby, I wowed them all
in a wig picked out for me
by Drew Barrymore

Then just at the worst time
federal agents appeared
I’m pretty sure they’re not nice
coz the audience jeered
This earthkid then wrapped me
in a blanket and stuck
me on top of his bike
(Spielberg’s good at this stuff)

How you gonna treat me now?
I am a celebr.E.T.
Guess you’ll hafta rethink how
you showwwww……
your love to me

(grinding guitar as E.T. grabs his crotch and starts earthwalking)

Darlin’ when you see me now
better be some hanky panky
coz all earthchicks
wished they were
with me…
inside my blanky
As I rode across the sky
with my big nostrils flared…
started flaring everywhere
ya better BE prepared…


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Matthias - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Loved the pun! I’m a casual fan of the movie. I don’t outright love it (I think an over-saturation of it during grade school turned me off from it) but the character is adorable and this is great funny stuff!
Stuart McArthur - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks Matty - yeah me neither - not a huge fan of the Spielberg schmaltz - but nevertheless I still couldn't resist the T.'s cute body-of-a-150yo-with-the-adorableness-of-a-4yo charms. Just such a pity that Mrs E.T. didn't feel the same way.
Agrimorfee - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Reminds me of this pseudonymous entry from way back in the day... . Yours is cuter, though.
CML - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Not a big fan of ET .. or Alice Cooper. Which is odd because I grew up in the same hometown as he (Alice Cooper, not ET) I always knew a lot about him, that his real name is Vince Furnier and he was on the cross country team at Cortez High School, which was only six or seven miles from where I lived ....... Still in all, I'm gonna go way out on a limb and say you did a great job here
Abbott Skelding - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Definitely never thought of ET making the list of cute things, but this was a fun story about an alien going all full of himself. Solid OS to pair it up with too. Well done!
Peter Andersson - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
I've always wondered why he didn't just use the finger to cure himself.
Peregrin - November 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey Stuart. Sorry I am late, was posting responses to others until my PC conked out as I was reading yours. Could have done with that big finger thing to magically fix it. I will admit to having never watched ET! And never intend to, but I know enough about it to appreciate the great job you have done here :)
Stuart McArthur - November 12, 2018 - Report this comment
Good memory to recall that one Ag, and I liked his ref to beer - which I didn't manage to get in. Thanks :)

Thanks CML! very kind

Thanks Abbott - he was the first cute thing that came to my mind, although now I think about cute and cuddly, I guess he doesn't really fit the bill after all

Good point K1 - I suppose there's rules preventing alien finger self-medication

No prob Pippin - sorry I'm late with my reply. Can't believe you watched every LOTR movie and never watched ET! Go Lions!
TJC - December 16, 2019 - Report this comment
Nice, Stuart! PS: I miss you!

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