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Song Parodies -> "Different Cokes"

Original Song Title:

"Diff'rent Strokes TV Theme Song"

Original Performer:

Alan Thicke

Parody Song Title:

"Different Cokes"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I don't usually write about food or beverages, but hey, a break from war and politics :)
Well the world doesn’t drink
One cola for consumption
Pepsi might be right for you
RC’s another one

Coke’s an icon
“Classic” is the king
Carbonation fuel
Hot, can strip a rusty nail clean!!!

There are different Cokes
Made for different folks
It takes different Cokes to quench the world

Everyone has their special cat-e-gory
Diet, Cherry, Zero- fine
The selection is a lot- aimed at tots, the teen slots
Some in cans, some in bottles, and glass divine

[Carbonation for glass= 2.5x!!!]

So forget the beer and wine…

It takes different Cokes
It takes different Cokes to quench the world (Fizz it does)
It takes different Cokes to quench the world

[Moxie’s still around and in East is sold]
Moxie was a 19th century competitor to Coca-Cola but was derived from an elixir and carbonated. It was used as a cure for paralysis! It has gentian root in it so the taste is extremely bitter and the shock of the first gulp aftertaste seems to paralyze the throat and tongue! An aquired taste it is the offical soda of Maine and Mad Magazine that used to advertise for it. It is also the origin of the word Moxie- to have spirit, strength, and courage... to drink that soda. I get mine monthly through BevMo in glass. It is also featured in the movie "Small Apartments." FYI

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Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

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User Comments

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Patrick - February 26, 2014 - Report this comment
My first taste of Moxie was last year, a bottle found in a five & dime in Branson, Missouri. Last week I located a store in Westport that carries it. I didn't swig it down, so I missed the effect you describe. Sort of like a low-grade root beer to me. Did see a key lime cream soda, really good. German name that I don't remember. A lot of stores around here sell Coca-Cola and Pepsi imported from Mexico. These are still made with cane sugar, rather than corn syrup. I think this was the big change in the Old Coke vs. New Coke controversy of the early 1990's. Just like beers, there are a lot of local varieties of soft drinks and it's nice to live in a big enough city where specialty stores carry them.
Rob Arndt - February 26, 2014 - Report this comment
Out in Cali we have BevMos (Beverages and More) that stock 100s of exotic soda in glass bottles. My prefs are Schenker's Puma Cola, Moxie Original, any of the weird Japanese sodas with the glass ball plug in the bottle neck, and some Russian sodas in Cyrillic. Can't really describe their colas except to say that some are fruit types, others taste medicinal, and there are several terragon types with green coloring!!! Import shops that stock foods and beverages usually will have them too. I'm surprised that you didn't get the Moxie sting of bitterness that is off the charts. That soda is accurately distinct from all the rest. I drink mine from the bottle as-is but cold. Is at first refreshing and then the aftertaste sets in immediately making the tongue and throat feel paralyzed, numb. An aquired taste for sure :)

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