Where are those tory votes, they seemed so hard to find
they have a new leader, i can't bring him to mind
Whatever happened to Will Hague?
the fourteen pints he drank?
he used to be so bad, he used to be so dull

so when they pick a leader why do they choose I.D.S
the votes they clearly need will never come with I.D.S
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on

in the house of commons, he always dissappears
with a frog in his throat, nothing between his ears
He really tried to look caring
but never really should
where have the tories gone? their leader is no good

so when they pick a leader why do they choose I.D.S
the votes they clearly need will never come with I.D.S
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on

so when they pick a leader why do they choose I.D.S
the votes they clearly need will never come with I.D.S
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on
thatchers gone, Hague and Major will never go on
thatchers gone, and Portillo will never go on
thatchers gone, and Heseltine will never go on