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Song Parodies -> "Ronaldo"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Not to be confused with Jack Rudd's song of the same name, this one's about the other Ronaldo, Cristiano.
Are you changing clubs, Ronaldo
What is it makes you think they'll want a spoilt brat like you?
With your flashing feet, Ronaldo
You were diving and show-boating, doing tricks with the football
But in the whole World Cup
You'd better face it, you did bugger all

What about "Big Phil" Scolari?
He would glower, he would grimace, he'd be ranting at the Ref
Reckon he should chill, Scolari
In his team cheating was rife, still he'd be shooting off his gob
And I am so glad to say
He didn't go and land himself the England job

There was one team played unfair that night
And you were shite, Ronaldo
The only way that you could score would be
A penalty, Ronaldo
Though I never thought that we would lose
'Cause you're no threat
Up against a team who could defend
No good, my friend, Ronaldo.

Why'd you play that way, Ronaldo?
Try to influence the ref, when you didn't even see a foul
Watching the replay, Ronaldo
Your player just fell over, there's no contact there at all
It didn't stop your team-mates
And yourself protesting over just one little fall

If you want to show you care, you might
Appear contrite, Ronaldo
But you're arrogant and vain as well
And rude as hell, Ronaldo
For your antics there ain't no excuse
Only regret
Now I hear you're heading off to Spain
I won't complain, Ronaldo

There was one team played unfair that night
And you were shite, Ronaldo
The only way that you could score would be
A penalty, Ronaldo
Now it's time for quitting ol' Man U
Theres no regret
And I hear you're heading off to Spain
I won't complain, Ronaldo
Yes, I hear you're heading off to Spain
I won't complain, Ronaldo

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - July 13, 2006 - Report this comment
soccer to me, baby !
Kristof Robertson - July 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Phil: let it go, man; it's over. ;-) Very clever (if a tad bitter) 555
Stuart McArthur - July 13, 2006 - Report this comment
yes, Phil, come on, have a nice cup of tea - that's the way - 555
Lionel Mertens - July 13, 2006 - Report this comment
fun to read 5's
Peter Andersson - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
As proven in the final too, soccer has become a game where the cheaters and the badmouthers win, kinda like American Wrestling, but with the most popular replay from previous cups being the one where Maradona is using his hand over the English keeper noone should really have expected anything else than a development in that direction. Also it doesn't help that FIFA is ruled by men older than what the old Soviet ever managed to produce. If anyone's is interested in my opinion I think Soccer has come to an important crossroad, either they take full use of modern technology to get the rulings done right right away, or it will head down aftermatch sauerkraut alley where more and more matches comes with a public display of wrongful referee decisions.
Phil Alexander - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Kristof & Stu - this was written more about the Portugal France/Holland matches than the England one, and the news that Ronaldo has said that he's probably moving to either Real or Barca - with staggering arrogance, as neither club has mentioned anything. Felt I had to get in something about Scolari, too, as his behaviour was almost as bad as his team's (and I did like the "He would glower, he would grimace" sub for "Every hour, every minute").
Peter - you've summed it up for me: the quality of the cheating is getting so much better (and everyone except the ref can see it in replays) that unless they do allow technology to be used, I agree on your view of where football will go.
Alvin and Lionel :-) Thanks
ggg - March 15, 2008 - Report this comment
your a cock

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