Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "If I Were a Santa"

Original Song Title:

"If I Were a Rich Man"

Original Performer:

Zero Mostel

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were a Santa"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Song #8 of "The 12 Parodies of Christmas".
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
If I were a holly jolly man, if I were a frayleich man
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would dress up for my yearly flight in a Yarmulkeh that's red and white

And I would
Have my elves keep busy the whole year working on every kosher toy
Wooden dreidels for ev-er-y girl and boy
And I would
Have my reindeer practice their flying faster and higher than before
I would kvel as I would watch them soar

If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would greet you "sholem aleycham", if I were a Christmas man
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would thrill both shikse and shygetz, and I'd never have any regrets

And I would
Schlep a bag jammed full of the presents I would deliver Christmas eve
Landing on the rooftops with great espirit
And then a
Quick trip down the chimney to drop off gifts for the little goyem kids
And maybe nosh a schmear left near the tree

If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would get a lot of mazel tov, if I were the Christmas mensch
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
But I'll never serve as you-know-who, because I'm orthodox and I'm a jew.
Copyright 2005 Rex Ungericht. All rights reserved.
Previous Parody Added to the Site | Next Parody Added to the Site

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 


In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
  0
  0
  
 2   0
  0
  0
  
 3   0
  0
  0
  
 4   0
  0
  0
  
 5   10
  10
  10
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick C - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Oy, oy, oy Merry Christmas!
Kristof Robertson - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Je-wish you a merry Christmas, Rex! 555
Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
With tradition you mess? Oh well. But shouldn't those "daidel deedles" have included a dreidel?
AFW - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Adding a good Christmas flavor to a Broadway favorite..good work..fives
John Barry - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Schlep these fives home.
stuart mcarthur - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
didn't get all the Jewish gags, Rex, but a good read anyway - 555
Rex - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Mazel tov to all. Stuart - this is the first time I've attempted something like this - I hope the online Yiddish dictionary I used was accurate!
Squire G - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes I had to have someone translate some of this but even tho...this was pretty funny

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/zeromostel3.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1717