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Song Parodies -> "If I Were The Riddler"

Original Song Title:

"If I Were A Rich Man"

Original Performer:

Zero Mostel

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were The Riddler"

Parody Written by:

Timothy M. Patishnock

The Lyrics

From the hit musical "Riddler On the Roof" that's sweeping Gotham City by storm!Legend: ("_"= slowing down breathing/ tempo "-"= to speed up breathing/ tempo)*The above are used for rythems because I don't know how to read sheet music...If you don't understand the rhythms at first, sing the tune of the original song in your head... *
Questions! Questions! Questions!
I'm sick of all the questions...But, I realize that there's a need to ask them in life...
So...Would it be so-terrible, if we could just forget the questions for a moment, and allow me to tell you of my goals from my dreams?


If-I-were-the-Riddler
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
All..-day-long, I'd-puz_-zle-just-for-fun..
..If-_I-_was-_the-_question_-man.
I..._-wouldn't-have-to work-hard...
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
..If_-I-just-_said'a_-"Riddle-me"_'a-this...
Rid.._duh-did-ah-did-ull-_-me'a-this!

I'd..build-..ah...big-tall-box, with'a dozen-handles-on-it
Right-in-the-middle_of-the-town..
With'a-large-question-mark, and-a-dang_erous-sur_-prise-inside..
There-would'a_be-one-long-list_of-puz-_zles-going-up,
And_-one-even-longer-coming-down..
And-some-just-lead_nowhere_...Just_-for_show...

I'd-bat-tle.._Rob-_in_,-Nigh_t-wing,Bat-man_-and-_-the-Hunt-ress
Dressed_in-_-my_-out-_fit_-color_-ed_green..
Taunting-my-op-onents-while-I-can..
Then-there's-the-fight-with-_sounds-like,_- "POW!-BIFFA!-ZOCK!"
It-would-show,-as-I_try-to-flee-the-scene...
As-pe-ople-say,_-"There_-goes_-the-Riddler_man..!"

If-I-were-the-Riddler
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
All..-day-long, I'd-puz_-zle-just-for-fun..
..If-_I-_was-_the-_question_-man.
I..._-wouldn't-have-to work-hard...
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
..If_-I-just-_said'a_-"Riddle-me"_'a-this...
Rid.._dle..-did-_a-_did_-..all-_-me'a-this!

..See-ing_-my-life, my goals, -all_..-spring-_ing-_-once-to-life
_Make's-_me-want-to-chuckle-with'a_grin..
..Baff-..-ling-Goth-am-cops_to-my-de-light..
They-think-I'm-putting-on-airs?, and-try-_-ing-to-steal-money!
Oy!-What'a-low-ley-crime-that-is!
Rob-bing-grocery_-clerks-just-after-night...

A-summoned-_-Batman-would-be-asked-to-capt_-ure-me
Gordon-would-start-to-adivse-then...
Like'a-Solomon-the-Wise..
"If-you-please, Mr. masked-Bat..."
(Oh,-I-hate-it-when-he-does-that)...
Flying-through_-the-polluted_-Gotham-skies...
And-it-won't-make-one-little-difference, if-Harvey's-right-or-wrong..
When-you're-the-"Commish", you'd-think-Bullock'd-know...

..If-I-_-were..the...Rid.-dler-I'd..-enact-,the-..great-_-est-_crime-I-_lack...
Instead,-I-sit, -as-a-loser-everyday...
..Someday-I'll-become-Gotham's-number-_one.
..And-I'll-de-feat-the-fabled..Bat-man-_myself-,for-making-me-the-fool-I-am-today..
And-that-would'a-be...The-sweetest..thing..of-all.....

If-I-were-the-Riddler
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
All..-day-long, I'd-puz_-zle-just-for-fun..
..If-_I-_was-_the-_question_-man.
I..._-wouldn't-have-to work-hard...
Ya-ha-deedle-deedle_bubba_bubba-deedle-deedle-done..
..If_-I-just-_said'a_-"Riddle-me"_'a-this...
Rid.._dle..-did-_a-_did_-..all-_-me'a-this!



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
In the spirit of the original song... And THIS you call a parody? In the spirit of the character... What's black and white and fived all over?
Arwen - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I found this to be very entertaining...nice work!

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