After beer
Twenty-five twenty-five
If you are still alive
If your brain can survive
You may find...

After beer
Thirty-five thirty-five
Ain't gonna think Pete Rose nev-er
Told no lies
Everything Pete thinks, does, and claims
Seems like it comes - from Einstein's brain!

After beer
Forty-five forty-five
You ain't gonna need your pants,
Won't need no fly
You'll tread urine in a poo-oo-ool
Of the beer you pee like a fool...

After beer
Fifty-five fifty-five
You feel, like a chimp that's too high
You think, Mar-tha Stew-art's god
You don't think, Michael Jackson's odd

After beer
Sixty-five sixty-five
You call Ozzie Osbourne
For free advice
You'll ask his son,
And his daughter too,
How to bong out of a long glass tube (whoa-o-oah)

After beer
Seventy-five ten
Hallucinations,
Or is it God you see then?
Maybe God'll take a look at you and say,
"Guess what, wino - it's Judgement Day!"

After beer
Eighty-five ten
God's gonna be amazed you're not dead
God just might say "I've met My drinking match!"
"Here's to you, buddy - down the hatch!" (whoa-o-oah)

After beer
NINETY-FIVE NINETY-FIVE !!
I'm kinda wonderin'
How did you keep yourself alive?
You've guzzled every beer
This old Earth has brewed
And you ain't blown chunks or spewed (whoa-o-oah)


Now you've had
Ten thousand beers

More than even Norm of Cheers

Now that your binge is through,
What's your favorite brew?

Could it be Amstel Light?

You're tinkling in bar-light - bladder control gave way -
Maybe you drank too much today...?


After beer
Twenty-five twenty-five
If you are still alive
If your brain can survive
You may find...

After beer
Thirty-five thirty-five...

( repeat song into fade )