Song Parodies -> Please, Sausager Stuffski
| Original Song Title: | "Gee, Officer Krupke" |
| Original Performer: | West Side Story Soundtrack |
| Parody Song Title: | "Please, Sausager Stuffski" |
| Parody Written by: | The Comedian |
Deeeeeeear ---
Kindly Butcher Stuffski, you cut a wondrous ham!
You bust a squealin' gutski's, fat-less pork with a wham!
Your cleaver falls on monkeys, your chop 'em all to chunks!
Gall-ing noses, as yer steel spears skunks!
Please,
Sausager Stuffski, we're hungry and yet,
We'd never eat a tuft off hairy wild otters' heads!
We hate frozen ink-jets weird squids would extrude!
Please don't invite us, that ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't fun snack food!
Yikes we cry, that "Wurst-Of-Pug" ain't food!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"That's a retchin' food story!"
"Lemme smell it an' I'll hurl!"
"Don't smell it, it's your lunch!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Weirrrrrrd ---
Slimy lunch, you're awful, that butcher treats us bad!
Serves gall bladder, piranha, and sea urchin go-nads!
We only wanted burgers, but somehow we got stung!
Eatin' lizards -- ig-uana's left lung!
Yikes!
Sausager Stuffski, you're feeding them scum!
If people eat your lunch, they'll need a barrel of Tums!
This road-kill is gross, it's flat snot at the curb!
It's biologic'ly disturbed!
It's disturbed!
At the curb!
At the curb!
At the gross-mess-curb!
Yikes it's bi-i-i-i-iologic'ly disturbed!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"In the opinion of this health inspector,
this food is unsafe on account I ain't had a formal bribe!"
"What? It's unsafe on account I ain't bribed?"
"So take me to an ATM!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Yourrrrrrrr ---
Poultry's a disaster, your meat is S.O.L. !
Your 'taters taste like plaster, your sushi smells like hell !
Your blisters spice your goulash, your caesar salad's limp!
You just --
-- made this --
-- pot-pie fried with CHIMP!
YUCK!
Sausager Stuffski, kielbasa is great ---
--- but why does your kielbasa seem to move on the plate?
It seems that you played us, a terrible trick ---
--- now porkiologic'ly we're sick!
We are sick!
We are sick!
We are sick!
We are sick, sick, sick!
Yikes we're porkiologic-ally sick!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"Sausager Stuffski, the police want to know if Mal The Mangler's
been hiding in your meat-locker!"
"My meat-locker's out of order, officer -- I had to borrow
a cooler from the funeral parlor."
"Oh yeah? Well that would be just perfect for ---"
"For what?"
"For Mal to hide in!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Deeeeeeear ---
Kindly Butcher Stuffski, your cooler's full of steaks,
You cut from some poor bastard, who pissed-off poison snakes!
Your nasty anti-pasto
Is vastly over-priced!
You're no butcher!
YOU'RE THE ANTI-CHRIST!
EEK!
Sausager Stuffski, you've done it again!
This T-bone's from a slob we've seen on E.S.P.N. !
It ain't just a question of could, should, or would ---
Can-ni-ba-lism is no good!
It's no good!
It's no good!
It's no good!
It's not understood!
Yikes a breast from Gus is no damn good!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
"The trouble is he's goofy!"
"The trouble is he's bad!"
"The trouble is he's loopy!"
"The trouble is he's mad!"
"The trouble is he's tripping!"
"The trouble is he's stoned!"
"Just don't, eat that, chicken that he boned!"
Please Sausager Stuffski, we're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a paralytic shellfish disease!
Please Sausager Stuffski, take all of your food ---
--- and, Sau-sa-ger Stuff-ski,
STUFF YOU !!!
Kindly Butcher Stuffski, you cut a wondrous ham!
You bust a squealin' gutski's, fat-less pork with a wham!
Your cleaver falls on monkeys, your chop 'em all to chunks!
Gall-ing noses, as yer steel spears skunks!
Please,
Sausager Stuffski, we're hungry and yet,
We'd never eat a tuft off hairy wild otters' heads!
We hate frozen ink-jets weird squids would extrude!
Please don't invite us, that ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't food!
That ain't fun snack food!
Yikes we cry, that "Wurst-Of-Pug" ain't food!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"That's a retchin' food story!"
"Lemme smell it an' I'll hurl!"
"Don't smell it, it's your lunch!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Weirrrrrrd ---
Slimy lunch, you're awful, that butcher treats us bad!
Serves gall bladder, piranha, and sea urchin go-nads!
We only wanted burgers, but somehow we got stung!
Eatin' lizards -- ig-uana's left lung!
Yikes!
Sausager Stuffski, you're feeding them scum!
If people eat your lunch, they'll need a barrel of Tums!
This road-kill is gross, it's flat snot at the curb!
It's biologic'ly disturbed!
It's disturbed!
At the curb!
At the curb!
At the gross-mess-curb!
Yikes it's bi-i-i-i-iologic'ly disturbed!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"In the opinion of this health inspector,
this food is unsafe on account I ain't had a formal bribe!"
"What? It's unsafe on account I ain't bribed?"
"So take me to an ATM!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Yourrrrrrrr ---
Poultry's a disaster, your meat is S.O.L. !
Your 'taters taste like plaster, your sushi smells like hell !
Your blisters spice your goulash, your caesar salad's limp!
You just --
-- made this --
-- pot-pie fried with CHIMP!
YUCK!
Sausager Stuffski, kielbasa is great ---
--- but why does your kielbasa seem to move on the plate?
It seems that you played us, a terrible trick ---
--- now porkiologic'ly we're sick!
We are sick!
We are sick!
We are sick!
We are sick, sick, sick!
Yikes we're porkiologic-ally sick!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ spoken: ]
"Sausager Stuffski, the police want to know if Mal The Mangler's
been hiding in your meat-locker!"
"My meat-locker's out of order, officer -- I had to borrow
a cooler from the funeral parlor."
"Oh yeah? Well that would be just perfect for ---"
"For what?"
"For Mal to hide in!"
( --- instrumental riff --- )
[ sung: ]
Deeeeeeear ---
Kindly Butcher Stuffski, your cooler's full of steaks,
You cut from some poor bastard, who pissed-off poison snakes!
Your nasty anti-pasto
Is vastly over-priced!
You're no butcher!
YOU'RE THE ANTI-CHRIST!
EEK!
Sausager Stuffski, you've done it again!
This T-bone's from a slob we've seen on E.S.P.N. !
It ain't just a question of could, should, or would ---
Can-ni-ba-lism is no good!
It's no good!
It's no good!
It's no good!
It's not understood!
Yikes a breast from Gus is no damn good!
( --- instrumental riff --- )
"The trouble is he's goofy!"
"The trouble is he's bad!"
"The trouble is he's loopy!"
"The trouble is he's mad!"
"The trouble is he's tripping!"
"The trouble is he's stoned!"
"Just don't, eat that, chicken that he boned!"
Please Sausager Stuffski, we're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a paralytic shellfish disease!
Please Sausager Stuffski, take all of your food ---
--- and, Sau-sa-ger Stuff-ski,
STUFF YOU !!!
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 21 | 22 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
So this is what you've been up to. 5's
WOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW. Abso-freaking-lutely PHENOMENAL, JD. Not only did you take the OS I handed you and crammed it full of TMGLTM, you also blew my old "Gee, George Dubya Bushy" completely out of the water. And you did it so FAST! (now I really have to get working on "Girly Man") 555 big fat slabs of mystery meat right here, now I have yet another reason to steer clear of my school's cafeteria, heh heh.
OH, JD ! This is sickeningly hysterical from the opening lines to the last wrenching retch-inducing rhyme scheme. Barfing out some 5's on your plate...bon apetit ~ ~ ~
my favorite of the day
Sequal to the Deli Man Can? Nicely Served...
whoa, JD! - porkiologically perfect - although there's lots of protein in those sea urchin go-nads, so I for one will keep eating them by the packet - you could stretch this to the whole musical - you're halfway there - 555
555!
Thanks Lionel, Cat, Paul, alvin, Matthias, Stu, and p.m.!
(Parody Challenge) Wowsers! And totally F-ing awesome. For Mal to hide, indeed! I'm wiping the tears from my eyes...555
i have a feeling that out of all the songs this is the one you would have picked yourself. it seems that you had an awful lot of fun doing this as its your type of song. and you have doggon nailed it! spot on pass me the menu !
(parody challenge) I agree with tomario, JD...this is EXACTLY the sort of song you would have chosen for yourself. Brimming with wondrous wordplay and dark humour...magnificent! 555
(Great Parody Challenge) See above! Still LOVE LOVE LOVE it! And now I've realized how many brilliant subs you have in there!
(Great Parody Challenge) It's too bad I DKTOS. Then I would get it. But, that aside, it's HILARIOUS!
This deserves 5s just for "porkiologic'ly"! But, it deserves much more of a comment than that: this is wonderfully inspired lunacy, Johnny D, with TMGLTM, and the whole thing is freakin' hilarious!
(PC) see above, and crikey there are some huge efforts in this contest - unmistakeably Johnny D, this one
Not familiar with this one, but 555, it's a very twisted parody and I love twisted.
All kinds of funny lines, loved the ATM line in particulary. Long song that kept me laughing throughout!
Thanks Agri, tomario, Kristof, Cat, bob p.c., Red, Stu, Cat Girl Summoner, Jeff, and everybody! :-D
(SOTM) I got lost in the pacing in a few places, so after I rated it, I went back and re-read everything, and might I add.... Wow! This is probably your funniest and sickest since "Fry a Yellow Liver Drowned in Cold Smoked Brie" (That's a compliment, by the way)! Waaaay TMGLTM (if that means what I think it means... some), and the humor is typical Johnny D and then some. ...And this is just the first SOTM entry. Looks like we have another phenomenal SOTM on our hands. 355
Thanks for the in-depth comment and review, Chris! After I post a link to an MP3 of the OS, "Gee, Officer Krupke", you might find that my pacing is actually spot-on ... I wrote the parody while listening over and over to an MP3 of the OS to get the pacing right.
(SOTM) This is easily a 5pt or 4pt vote.
(SOTM) Most definately up near the top votes
(SOTM) great.. i love it. i would give it 5s! well done
Thanks Agrimorfee, The Charnstar, and paula miconas silos miconas.
I've got it! Barth's Burgers from "You Can't Do That On Television". You know, the one Christine "Moose" McGlade used to go to? Very, very funny! -- MM
(SOTM) see above. No doubt this will be the lead song in your future warped musical, JD!
(SOTM) See above! This one never gets old...
SOTM-Good
(SOTM) Great set up for "For Mal to hide in!". Excellent all around, JD. Way TMGLTM. 555+++
SOTM - Don't ever do research into your ancestry Johnny, you'll probably find Sweeny Todd on one side and Hannibal Lecter on the other...
(SOTM) this time I read it closely to the OS (that I couldn't source before) and the clever subs stand out even more - huge effort JD
(SOTM) Now that I actually KNOW the OS, I can appreciate it. And HOLY PILES OF MONKEY MEAT, was that pacing perfect or what?!
(SOTM) Johnny D, you know (or will know now) I'm a big fan of your work, and I have to say this one of the best of yours I've ever read. And, see above!
Excellent song, see above. Nice to read it again!
Wow. Even Larry the Cable Guy, Health Inspector, would close that guy down. I have to say, this is just amazing.
(SOTM) Entertaing parody, rich with ptomaine
SOTM--I'm a little grossed out...and a LOT impressed...great job, Johnny!
can't improve on what i said before. dam fine parody JD
(decath10) already an amiright classic JD
(DEC10) I concur with Stu, JD...an absolute classic.
(Decathlon - Event 10) Definite classic. You're lucky you had this up yer sleeve, Johnny.
Decathlon...I have to agree with Stuart...(something I try to avoid)...in his "classic" comment. I couldn't believe, when I looked back, that this is less than a year old...I feel like I've loved it forever!
lol, he's a bribe of 5s, now go vote for me :)
"Eatin' lizards" - heh. "Chicken that he boned" - heh heh. "For Mal to hide" - heh heh heh!
Brilliant.... He can't cook, but he can win you song of the year
(SOTY) Again, I say, BRILLIANT stuff, Mr. Small.
(SOTY) Not a whole lot to say here. . .I mean--the other comments say anything I could want or desire to say on this one.
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This is view # 527
West Side Story album at Amazon.com
West Side Story (1961 Film Soundtrack) album at Amazon.com
Dave Grusin Presents West Side Story album at Amazon.com
Golden Age Of The Movie Musical (Soundtrack Anthology) album at Amazon.com
The Best of Broadway, Vol.1: Cabaret/West Side Story/Company album at Amazon.com
