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Song Parodies -> "The NFL Rag"

Original Song Title:

"The Vatican Rag"

Original Performer:

Tom Lehrer

Parody Song Title:

"The NFL Rag"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

NFL players "taking a knee" during the US National Anthem reminded me of the brief "curtsy" that Catholics do in church, mentioned in Tom Lehrer's satirical song mocking the Vatican 2 Council that relaxed orthodox practices. My parody retains his un-orthodox accents on words like genuFLECT and abDOmen.
First you get down on one knee,
Listen to Scott Francis Key,
Raise your fist with disrespect
And then expect pending check sent direct.

Do hot clever steps, you moaners,
If you've cleared them with the owners.
Ev'ryone display his own smear of A nation,
Doin' the NFL Rag!

Get in line in what's traditional;
Step in new football professional.
There, the guys who want division'll
Tell you country's sin's original.

If it is, try making 'hoods safer:
Shrink the crime and shoo the chafer.
Two, four, six, eight;
Time to stand up and debate.

So get up and lock your knees,
(Middle class you'll grow to please.)
Lift your head with great respect
And stand erect, stand erect, stand erect.

Make hand cross o'er your abdomen.
(In my home, I spike bad showmen.)
Ah, Mama Mia! Gee, it's good to see ya
Get less robotic and more patriotic in
Honoring national flag!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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John Jenkins - September 29, 2017 - Report this comment
The 'abdomen/bad showmen' couplet is classic!
Peter Andersson - September 29, 2017 - Report this comment
Is it true that lotsa teams are gonna be renamed now?
Barry J. Mitchel - September 29, 2017 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: Thanks; my favorite was transsubstantiate/stand up and debate (accenting 'and').
Barry J. Mitchel - October 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Today is the 55th anniversary of Pope John Paul's convening the Second Vatican Council. Let's all genuflect thrice.
CML - October 11, 2017 - Report this comment
^^^ The pope that called for Vat II was Pope John XXII (or as the hip Catholic kids used to call him, J-Dawg23) He was followed by Paul VI, and THEN, in 1978 came the Pontificatin' Pollack, John Paul II, or JPDeuce, as the hip Catholics called him

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