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Song Parodies -> "Race"
Original Song Title:
"Smut"
Original Performer:
Tom Lehrer
Parody Song Title:
"Race"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
The U.S. President promised a post-racial America, but he and his appointees have been working to remedy "white privilege" at almost every opportunity. My parody of TOS expresses Mr. Obama's domestic "fairness" policies.
Race -
Give me race in ev'ry case!
Discrimination I can trace
If to my base
It's disgrace-
Ful.
I've never waited if race was baited;
I've been elated when others demonstrated.
As the judge remarked, the day that he
Awarded Mary Custis, [1]
"To be race it must be bas-
Ic'ly about redeeming social injustice."
Fer-
guson, Missouri I adore.
In recent agonies and gore,
Loot ev'ry store;
It's their race war!
[Bring on the Trayvon Martins, Nidal Hassans, New Black Panthers, Michael Browns or
Louis Henry Gates! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!]
Stories of slav'ry
Fused with White knav'ry,
Boorish, incestuous, crude,
Make me brood.
Novels that gander
At White polyander [2]
Give me a treasure in slime;
Let's race-bait over time.
All courts could be impartial courts,
Though circuit courts are bolder; [3]
For race, I'm glad to say, is on
The mind of Eric Holder.
Politics-imbued,
Ev'rything is hued.
I could tell you things about Ku Klux Klan
And how business' causes are hurting Black man!
I thrill
When any Black man's blood Whites spill,
And I suppose White motive's ill
If it's a kill
And really chill-
Ing.
Who feels our A.G. likes menacing democracy?
I've thought our A.G. seeks legal aristocracy!
But now he's going to take himself
Away from us, unless [4]
No A.G. candidate withstands
A lame-duck Senate's game of chess. [5]
In other words,
Race. I love it,
Want no indentures without grace.
Oh, I'm a darky they can't mace;
Don't "know my place,"
Climb stairs with pace. [6]
Hip-hip-hooray!
Next year I'll pack the Supreme Court, [7]
Won't let them make race passé.
Give me race in ev'ry case!
Discrimination I can trace
If to my base
It's disgrace-
Ful.
I've never waited if race was baited;
I've been elated when others demonstrated.
As the judge remarked, the day that he
Awarded Mary Custis, [1]
"To be race it must be bas-
Ic'ly about redeeming social injustice."
Fer-
guson, Missouri I adore.
In recent agonies and gore,
Loot ev'ry store;
It's their race war!
[Bring on the Trayvon Martins, Nidal Hassans, New Black Panthers, Michael Browns or
Louis Henry Gates! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!]
Stories of slav'ry
Fused with White knav'ry,
Boorish, incestuous, crude,
Make me brood.
Novels that gander
At White polyander [2]
Give me a treasure in slime;
Let's race-bait over time.
All courts could be impartial courts,
Though circuit courts are bolder; [3]
For race, I'm glad to say, is on
The mind of Eric Holder.
Politics-imbued,
Ev'rything is hued.
I could tell you things about Ku Klux Klan
And how business' causes are hurting Black man!
I thrill
When any Black man's blood Whites spill,
And I suppose White motive's ill
If it's a kill
And really chill-
Ing.
Who feels our A.G. likes menacing democracy?
I've thought our A.G. seeks legal aristocracy!
But now he's going to take himself
Away from us, unless [4]
No A.G. candidate withstands
A lame-duck Senate's game of chess. [5]
In other words,
Race. I love it,
Want no indentures without grace.
Oh, I'm a darky they can't mace;
Don't "know my place,"
Climb stairs with pace. [6]
Hip-hip-hooray!
Next year I'll pack the Supreme Court, [7]
Won't let them make race passé.
[1] Widowed from her first husband, she brought a dowry that included 100 slaves to George Washington.
[2] Refers to intercourse between slaves and their owners.
[3] in liberally interpreting the Constitution and precedents
[4] His resignation takes effect only after his replacement is ratified.
[5] Confirmation is more likely with the current Democrat-majority Senate, after November's elections.
[6] Refers to his meteoric career as well as how he enters Air Force One.
[7] if Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's health problems lead to her retirement
[2] Refers to intercourse between slaves and their owners.
[3] in liberally interpreting the Constitution and precedents
[4] His resignation takes effect only after his replacement is ratified.
[5] Confirmation is more likely with the current Democrat-majority Senate, after November's elections.
[6] Refers to his meteoric career as well as how he enters Air Force One.
[7] if Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's health problems lead to her retirement
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 |
User Comments
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I meant Martha (not Mary) Custis, who during her second marriage became the first First Lady.
Nidal Hassan is out of place in my list of victims; change to Eric Garner, who died during a police chokehold.
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