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Song Parodies -> "Race"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Tom Lehrer

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The U.S. President promised a post-racial America, but he and his appointees have been working to remedy "white privilege" at almost every opportunity. My parody of TOS expresses Mr. Obama's domestic "fairness" policies.
Race -
Give me race in ev'ry case!
Discrimination I can trace
If to my base
It's disgrace-

I've never waited if race was baited;
I've been elated when others demonstrated.
As the judge remarked, the day that he
Awarded Mary Custis, [1]
"To be race it must be bas-
Ic'ly about redeeming social injustice."

guson, Missouri I adore.
In recent agonies and gore,
Loot ev'ry store;
It's their race war!

[Bring on the Trayvon Martins, Nidal Hassans, New Black Panthers, Michael Browns or
Louis Henry Gates! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!]

Stories of slav'ry
Fused with White knav'ry,
Boorish, incestuous, crude,
Make me brood.
Novels that gander
At White polyander [2]
Give me a treasure in slime;
Let's race-bait over time.

All courts could be impartial courts,
Though circuit courts are bolder; [3]
For race, I'm glad to say, is on
The mind of Eric Holder.
Ev'rything is hued.
I could tell you things about Ku Klux Klan
And how business' causes are hurting Black man!

I thrill
When any Black man's blood Whites spill,
And I suppose White motive's ill
If it's a kill
And really chill-

Who feels our A.G. likes menacing democracy?
I've thought our A.G. seeks legal aristocracy!
But now he's going to take himself
Away from us, unless [4]
No A.G. candidate withstands
A lame-duck Senate's game of chess. [5]
In other words,

Race. I love it,
Want no indentures without grace.
Oh, I'm a darky they can't mace;
Don't "know my place,"
Climb stairs with pace. [6]

Next year I'll pack the Supreme Court, [7]
Won't let them make race passé.

[1] Widowed from her first husband, she brought a dowry that included 100 slaves to George Washington.
[2] Refers to intercourse between slaves and their owners.
[3] in liberally interpreting the Constitution and precedents
[4] His resignation takes effect only after his replacement is ratified.
[5] Confirmation is more likely with the current Democrat-majority Senate, after November's elections.
[6] Refers to his meteoric career as well as how he enters Air Force One.
[7] if Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's health problems lead to her retirement

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - October 03, 2014 - Report this comment
I meant Martha (not Mary) Custis, who during her second marriage became the first First Lady.
Barry J. Mitchel - October 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Nidal Hassan is out of place in my list of victims; change to Eric Garner, who died during a police chokehold.

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