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Song Parodies -> "Crack 'n' Sack"
Original Song Title:
"Happy Jack"
Original Performer:
The Who
Parody Song Title:
"Crack 'n' Sack"
Parody Written by:
Andy Primus
The Lyrics
This one's for anyone thinking of trying the male waxing procedure known as a crack ‘n’ sack.
It should be pretty obvious what is involved if you’ve never heard of it.
It should be pretty obvious what is involved if you’ve never heard of it.
Crack ‘n’ sack: wasn’t bold; chickened out an’ ran
The wife led me back; then the pain began
Hot wax on my thing; it could make it wonky
Back at home an’ I said, “I’m not feelin’ bonky”
The wax burned an’ hurt crack; it fried, fried, fried
It stripped skin off my sack; I cried, cried, cried, cried, cried
Then she had to mop cack, what with all the crappin’
For this tearin’ of my crack: now wear a nappy
Hope my nuts’ll pop back; have to wear the strappin’
For they mangled up my sack; now torn an’ flappy
The wife cut me no slack; she’s snide, snide, snide
I rubbed creams on my crack, an’ sighed, sighed, sighed, sighed, sighed
But the pain is top whack, so it’s awkward nappin’
For they couldn’t fix my sack; I’m feelin’ crappy
A lawyer?
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User Comments
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Maybe a little TMI...but reads painfully funny
Is there some valid medical or health reason for such a procedure? Your vocabulary sounds British. Is this covered under NHS?
Novel idea. Are you sure she wasn't using car wax? You could always try wearing a kilt! Tannic acid's good for taking the sting out of burns. A flannel soaked in cold tea works a treat, or in your case, try sitting in a bowl of it. (Honest) My bill's in the post.......
Patrick - The vanity of hairless buttocks and scrotal sac administered by a sadistic beauty therapist usually comes with an equally eye watering price tag. In times of need, the NHS might run to a pre surgical shave with a plastic disposable razor.
Yikes! You could probably hear me cringe all the way here in South Carolina. But some of the lines were way, way funny. The 'pop back' line made me cringe and chortle at the same time. I guess that would be a crortle.
I'm waxing 5ish.
Funniest song I've seen here since I started watching - 555
Thanks all for your v/c's
Patrick - Well answered by Bruno. I don't know anyone that's actually had it done but I'd guess it's aimed at very hairy men (who have partners that are fed up with dating monkeys). It usually involves the back as well, so it's advertised as a "back, sack & crack".
And, yes, I'm *very* English.
Patrick - Well answered by Bruno. I don't know anyone that's actually had it done but I'd guess it's aimed at very hairy men (who have partners that are fed up with dating monkeys). It usually involves the back as well, so it's advertised as a "back, sack & crack".
And, yes, I'm *very* English.
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