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Song Parodies -> "Crack 'n' Sack"

Original Song Title:

"Happy Jack"

Original Performer:

The Who

Parody Song Title:

"Crack 'n' Sack"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

This one's for anyone thinking of trying the male waxing procedure known as a crack ‘n’ sack.

It should be pretty obvious what is involved if you’ve never heard of it.

Crack ‘n’ sack: wasn’t bold; chickened out an’ ran
The wife led me back; then the pain began
Hot wax on my thing; it could make it wonky
Back at home an’ I said, “I’m not feelin’ bonky”

The wax burned an’ hurt crack; it fried, fried, fried
It stripped skin off my sack; I cried, cried, cried, cried, cried

Then she had to mop cack, what with all the crappin’
For this tearin’ of my crack: now wear a nappy

Hope my nuts’ll pop back; have to wear the strappin’
For they mangled up my sack; now torn an’ flappy

The wife cut me no slack; she’s snide, snide, snide
I rubbed creams on my crack, an’ sighed, sighed, sighed, sighed, sighed

But the pain is top whack, so it’s awkward nappin’
For they couldn’t fix my sack; I’m feelin’ crappy

A lawyer?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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AFW - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Maybe a little TMI...but reads painfully funny
Patrick - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Is there some valid medical or health reason for such a procedure? Your vocabulary sounds British. Is this covered under NHS?
Bruno - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Novel idea. Are you sure she wasn't using car wax? You could always try wearing a kilt! Tannic acid's good for taking the sting out of burns. A flannel soaked in cold tea works a treat, or in your case, try sitting in a bowl of it. (Honest) My bill's in the post....... Patrick - The vanity of hairless buttocks and scrotal sac administered by a sadistic beauty therapist usually comes with an equally eye watering price tag. In times of need, the NHS might run to a pre surgical shave with a plastic disposable razor.
WarrenB - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Yikes! You could probably hear me cringe all the way here in South Carolina. But some of the lines were way, way funny. The 'pop back' line made me cringe and chortle at the same time. I guess that would be a crortle.
John Barry - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm waxing 5ish.
Puto - June 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Funniest song I've seen here since I started watching - 555
Andy P - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks all for your v/c's

Patrick - Well answered by Bruno. I don't know anyone that's actually had it done but I'd guess it's aimed at very hairy men (who have partners that are fed up with dating monkeys). It usually involves the back as well, so it's advertised as a "back, sack & crack".
And, yes, I'm *very* English.

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