Song Parodies -> I Cant Stand W
| Original Song Title: | "I Can't Get Next to You" |
| Original Performer: | The Temptations |
| Parody Song Title: | "I Cant Stand W" |
| Parody Written by: | Michael Pacholek |
This is to the tune of my all-time favorite Motown song. If you know the original, you know the singer is bragging, so don't assume I can actually do the things I describe here. I wish.
I can fly the red, white and blue.
I see acid rain, it goes when I want it to.
I can drop a bomb onto Saudi desert sand.
I can make the Banner fly over Iraqi land.
But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue
'cause I can't stand W!
I can fly F-16s in the sky.
I can get any job for which I apply.
I can extinguish any oil-spill-fueled fire.
I can get Bill Clinton to control his desire.
But honey, I'd trade in all these great things I can do
'cause I can't stand W!
For everything he do!
Oh, I...!
(instrumental break)
Oo-woo, oo-woo-woo! Oo-woo, oo-woo-woo!
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom!
I'd like to turn back the hands of time
'cause you know Gore was the man!
I give him the White House he won
just with a wave of my hand.
He'd have kept the Twin Towers standing good as new.
But this thing I want to do the most, I'm unable to do.
I'm an unhappy man with all the powers I possess
'cause 2004 is the key to my happiness!
'Cause I... I... I... I... I can't stand W!
George! You don't got a mind! And I can't stand... W!
Can't you see these tears we've cried? I can't stand... W!
I see acid rain, it goes when I want it to.
I can drop a bomb onto Saudi desert sand.
I can make the Banner fly over Iraqi land.
But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue
'cause I can't stand W!
I can fly F-16s in the sky.
I can get any job for which I apply.
I can extinguish any oil-spill-fueled fire.
I can get Bill Clinton to control his desire.
But honey, I'd trade in all these great things I can do
'cause I can't stand W!
For everything he do!
Oh, I...!
(instrumental break)
Oo-woo, oo-woo-woo! Oo-woo, oo-woo-woo!
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom!
I'd like to turn back the hands of time
'cause you know Gore was the man!
I give him the White House he won
just with a wave of my hand.
He'd have kept the Twin Towers standing good as new.
But this thing I want to do the most, I'm unable to do.
I'm an unhappy man with all the powers I possess
'cause 2004 is the key to my happiness!
'Cause I... I... I... I... I can't stand W!
George! You don't got a mind! And I can't stand... W!
Can't you see these tears we've cried? I can't stand... W!
Mr. Tong is gonna kick himself for not thinking of this one sooner.
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1 | 9 | 9 | 10 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 1 | 2 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 10 | 10 |
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