Friends, please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of, uh, (tap-tap-tap) wealth, if not taste.
I've been around for some long, long years
Stole many a lib's hope and faith
I was around when Frat-Boy Bill had his moment of *astounding* shame
Made damn sure that harlot washed nothing to seal his fate
Friends, pleased to me you, I think you, uh, (tap-tap-tap) you know my name
But what's puzzling you. is the nature of my fame
I snuck up on the elitist world, when I thought it was time for a change
I killed Doo-cock and his mini-stuff, Susan Estrich screamed in vain
(oh-ah, by the way, Susan, Charlie Rangel called, he says he wants his voice back)
*I* rode a tank, *I* held a General's rank
When Feminazis raged and the culture stank
Friends, pleased to me you,
I think you, uh, (tap-tap-tap) you, you, you know my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my fame
I've watched with glee while the freaks and queens
Furnish every day something good to say
I shouted out, who slimed Ted Kennedy?
When, after all, folks, as you know, it was yours trulyEl Diablojust doing my job
Folks, there's no need for me to introduce myself,
I'm a man of wealth and fame,
And I lay traps for Americans, who get snowed before they use their brain
Folks, pleased you're with me, of course you know my name
But what's been puzzling them is the nature of my fame
Just as every cop is a liberal and ATV's are safe
As up is down, just call me Betty Ford
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me, have some courtesy, folks, have some sympathy, and some taste
Drop all your left-wing politics, 'cause I'm in need of all your grace
Pleased to meet you, folks, uh, (tap-tap-tap) I guess you know my name
And what's bugging me is the nature of my shame