I can't find a... skilled assassin
I can't find a... skilled assassin
When they strike with a spike, They're like tykes on a trike...
I can't find a... I can't find a...

"Plant a bomb inside that car
So the blast will send him to limbo"
Your explosion makes me snore
Nothing but a small inflammation
My zippo's fire leaves more devastation
Said: "That's too gross", No, no, no, no
Lame, lame, lame, What wimpy flame

Where are all the... trained assassins?!
Where are all the... trained assassins?!
Why can't mine break a spine? Since their minds are like slime
Where are all my, Where are all my...

"You can drown him out at sea"
Glimpsed photos from your beach party
"Use these mad killer bees
Must I hold your damn hand to go off this bloke?!
You're so incompetent it seems!"
Now you've been stung, No, no, no, no
Pain, pain, pain, Dude use your brain!

Wasted my dough... on ASS-ASS-ins!
With less gusto... Than Gersh Kuntzman*!
Though they try guys won't die, Are they high? Makes me sigh
Wasted my dough, wasted my dough

Might look tough when these thugs snarl
So I'm planning hits but they all fall flat
The sight of blood makes them hurl
I'll hand them a meat cleaver to hack but hear them squeak
Then they use that thing to chop up beef
Your burgers blow, Groan, groan, groan, groan
Faint, faint, faint, Won't get blood stained

Choke with this rope! Nope, You're a dope!
Want things done right? Do them yourself
My own assassin, No skilled assassins, All dumb assassins!