Please allow me to introduce myself
I just joined the other day
I move around from each site to site
Just lookin' for a place to stay
Every time I join a site
Ain't nobody that talks to me
Posting boards and chatrooms
All a waste of time, you see

Pleased to meet you, Newbie_1's my name
But annoying you's not the nature of my game

I wander 'round the internet
No one out there seems to give me a chance
Pick a band or a TV show
Try to find some fellow fans
I never win, never can fit in
Can there really be that much wrong with me?

Pleased to meet you, Newbie_1's my name, oh yeah
But annoying you's not the nature of my game, oh no

I watch dismayed as they chat away
Never look my way, each and every day
I shout aloud, "Y WONT U TALK 2 ME!!!!!!!!!!!"
But in the end, there's no sympathy
Won't you please just acknowledge me?
I'm about to scream and shout
But I don't care if I'm ignored
I'll be gone before you kick me out

Pleased to meet you, Newbie_1's my name, oh yeah
But annoying you's not the nature of my game, oh no
Lay off, buddy

Pleased to meet you, Newbie_1's my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you is that we all just seem the same, mmm yeah

Seems like every website has banished me
My self-esteem is wrecked
I'm infamous, they call me juvenile
But all I need is some respect
So if I log in, please be nice to me
Have some sympathy, don't be mean
You might think I'm an idiot
But I'm quite smart for fourteen, ooh yeah

Pleased to meet you, Newbie_1's my name, mmm yeah
But annoying you's not the nature of my game, I mean it, lay off

Woo-hoo
Oh, yeah
Just lay off
Whoa, yeah
Oh, yeah!

Newbie_1, now
That's my name
Yeah, you heard me
Newbie_1's my name
Newbie_1, now
That's my name
I hate this chatroom
You're to blame

Ooh-hoo
Ooh-hoo
Whoo!
Oh, right
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, yeah

Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, yeah
That's my name
Newbie_1, now
That's my name
All the newbies!
What's my name?

Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, yeah