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Song Parodies -> "How To Beat Brodeur?"

Original Song Title:

"How Can I Be Sure?"

Original Performer:

The Rascals

Parody Song Title:

"How To Beat Brodeur?"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Another one dedicated to the 1995, 2000 and 2003 Stanley Cup Champion New Jersey Devils.
How to beat Brodeur, in a league that's constantly changing?
How to beat Brodeur, and win the Cup anew?

Whenever I, whenever I try to push pucks through
I have to cry, and I won't get the big bucks, it's true.
What do I do? Always I'm gonna be losing.
Devils' defense is confusing.
Stevens hits me, knocks me down.

Whenever I, whenever I put on Ranger blue
my alibi is tellin' people that our coach is new.
Maybe I'm just hanging around
with a team that's just full of clowns.
It's a pity I can't seem to win in a city
only six miles from you!

How to beat Brodeur? I really, really, really wanna know!
I really, really, really wanna know! Whoa-hoh!

(instrumental break)

J.S. Giguere and CuJo just ain't gonna be there.
A Cup they just ain't gonna see there.
And Marty just won Number 3 there.
In his hands the Cup can be found!

How to beat Brodeur, in a league that's constantly changing?
How to beat Brodeur? No beat, join, it's true!

As in, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Can't bust on Giguere, since he took a team that should've been knocked out in the first round to game 7 of the finals against a much better team. I hate the Devils, but I'll give them credit, they had a great season and deserved the Cup. (I'm a Washington fan, so insert Capitals joke here)
Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Capitals joke? What's the point? The best player the Capitals have ever had just won his third Cup as the Devils' Captain. And I don't mean Rod Langway or Mike Gartner.
Jeff Reuben - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I was lucky enough to be at game 4 of the finals where the Caps lost to Detroit. Got to see the Wings skate with the Cup and everything. Very similar run that year to Anaheim...great goalie, okay team. Of course, the top three teams got knocked out to clear the way for the Caps that year in the east. And the Caps got swept in 4 in the finals. Okay, not that similar, but Kolzig carried them like Giguere did.
Michael Pacholek - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
The Caps might have won the Cup if the Wings had Curtis Joseph in goal back then. Of course, the Caps then would've had to beat someone other than the Wings. It might've been the Avalanche and Roy, and all bets would then have been off. And at the rate Kolzig has gone since then, I don't think Jiggy would like to be compared to him.
John Jenkins - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Well done, Michael. I live within 10 miles of the Pond, home of the Mighty Ducks, and I don't really follow hockey, but I didn't understand the Smythe Conn Trophy (Stanley Cup MVP) going to Giguere, not Brodeur. It would have been like Barry Bonds, not Troy Glauss, getting the 2002 World Series MVP.
Jeff Reuben - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
The rationale for Giggy is that without him, Anaheim doesn't make it out of the first round. He did more with less. He is the ONLY reason Anaheim made it to the finals. For Giguere to get 5 shutouts with the team he had in front of him is amazing! Now Brodeur also had a great playoffs, and for the people that make a case for him for the Conn Smythe, it's a good argument. Brodeur played well, but had a better team, specifically a better defense ahead of him which helped him to get his 7 shutouts in the playoffs (don't get me wrong, that was very impressive as well).

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