I mer her in a bar out in Buffalo,
where she doled out pain, said she had no choice,
it's her vulva I said what is vulva?
she walked up to me, and she smelled like a trout,
I needed some air so I took her out, and her vulva
what is this thing vulva? vul vul vul vul vulva

now I'm not the world's most intelligent man
but it tastes like a chicken and looks like a clam,
it's a vulva what is that thing vulva?
and I'm not dumb but I can't understand
why it sounds like a car, but feels like a ham
it's a vulva...vul vul vul vul vulva
vul vul vul vul vulva

well we drank champagne and we tried a drug,
when she sat she left a trail like a slug
she picke me up and said what to do?
I pinched my nose and I said pee-yeuww
well I'm not the world's most passionate guy,
but when I thought of her thighs, I almost fell in her vulva
vul vul vul vul vulva
vul vul vul vul vulva

I pushed her away
I walked to the door,
her hips tried to sway
itr hung down to her knees
well I looked at it, and it at me..

that's the way that I want it to look, and I always want it to be mistook
for a vulva vul vul vul vul vulva
girls will need boys and boys will need girls
it's a screwed up thing when you look and sing
to her vulva
vul vul vul vul vulva

well I'd seen one just a week before,
that one didn't hang to the floor,
but when she smiled and put away her clam
she said hey bud lemme make you a man

well I'm not the world's most masculine man,
but I know what I am I'm a man, and I'm glad, with no vulve
vul vul vul vul vulva
vul vul vul vul vulva