Exceptionally cute, Johnny! 5s...

well done 555

Far out and funny...three fives

LOLOLOL!!!!! Sure you didn't sing with the "Doors"? I know one song I won't keep a straight face on...lol. 5's

JD, looks like it's songs of the undead for you and me today. Like my fives?

I gave yer 5s and forgot ta tell yer...I'm not a very bright vampire, either...

loved that one completely Johnny - he's a metro-sex-a-ghoul - hilarious, and the tag line: not a very bright vampire - droll - 555

Cleverly silly. Appropriate to the what may have been the first "goth" rock song. 555

Excellent, Johnny. Hope it ain't autobiographical :-). High 5's

I'm smitten with this one too!

Q. Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?

A. Because sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

Groan all you want, you know it's funny!

HAHAHAHA...so funny, i had to read one line...get over my laughing fit, and then read the next...yep, this is one dumb vampire, alright..5s

The tire references made me think of that scene in a James Bond movie where he had to hide underwater and survived by air from a tire. (One of the Roger Moore films if my memory serves me right). I remember wondering if that could have worked IRL or if they were just making fun of us SUCKERS in the audience.

Part from that: 555 units of Oooh-type positive.

Thank you very much, everybody!

Arwen: So are you, Princess Of Immortal Bliss And Beauty!

Joe Melchionne: Thank you, sir.

Airfarcewon: That's what I was trying for!

Adagio: Nope, I didn't sing "with" The Doors...I sang AT them, heh heh heh! ;-)

John Barry: Love your fives! It's a Gothic/Lovecraftian/Bram-Stokerian kind of Halloween-month-day, I guess...mwahahahahahaaaaa... ;-D

Kristof Robertson: So you're a blood-sucking genius, eh? Perhaps a certain political campaign could use your talents: (INSERT CANDIDATE OF YOUR CHOICE HERE)

Stuart McArthur: I love the adjective "droll" - thanks!

Agrimorfee: Hey Agri, you've got a point there - - - maybe "Light My Fire" does qualify as an early, if not the first, "goth" rock song...

Dee Range: Not autobiographical at all, unless you count movies, TV shows, and theatrical productions I've seen!

Ashkicksass: That IS funny, I love it, Ash! Here's one for you:
"Remember, you are unique, just like everybody else."

Alvin: You betcha he's one dumb vampire. Can't tell a jugular vein from a steel-belted radial.

Know 1 can hear you dream: I remember that Bond-movie scene...yeah, maybe the directors & producers were having a GAS showing how TIRED they were of all us SUCKERS!

You certainly stuck your neck out with this parody...fangs for the great job, I think I could die laughing... 5-5-5!

Very bizarre! This sounds like one Pip would pen. Have you been messin' with my hobbit behind my back? Hee hee.

Thank you, Ingeborg! ;-)

And thank you too, Meriadoc! No way would I be messin' with your hobbit behind your back - - - I would insist on us being in front of you so you could watch....heh heh! ;-D

Alright! I looooove watching! Shall we set a date? ;-)

Yeah, but "Who watches the watchers" ? Ha! Good song JD

Thank you Merry (again) and thanks, Peregrin!

Johnny D - Well, just got through filing those tax returns this evening. This one is definitely and LOL...I started that on this line: "He just loves to suck the air from tires" and continued laughing from there. A "tireless" effort from you here...patching up your Firestone's with 5's across here...

This sucks--which is the ultimate complement in the vampire world. Great job Johnny D--555! (Aside to Paul Robinson--my wife and I just filed our returns too. I'm glad we're not alone in the procrastinating taxpayer's club! Too much time writing parodies when I should be doing my taxes.)

Thanks, Paul R. and MasonR!

This sucks the 5's right out of me!

Vhy thank you, The Thought Police, vee ap-preeeciate your fives ved-dy ved-dy much, mwahahahahahaaaa!

SOTM Already voted Love it.

Thank you Adagio.

Bloody hilarious.

SOTM... gosh, it seems like i don't know any songs in this batch of parodies...

(SOTM) This really sucked, but if you're a vampire I guess it's OK. (I'm laughing) This guy would probably bite the neck that bleeds you.

(SOTM) As I said before, bloody brilliant!

(SOTM) Still gasping for air here...

Thanks Luke, Ash, Guy, Kristof, and Peter.

You wrote this during my little comment month, but you know I loved it.

(SOTM) see above

(SOTM) LOL!

Thank you Rick, Agrimorfee, and Melhi.

Count Dorkula? Funny stuff Johnny.

Yes! Yes! "Count Dorkula", I love it, Claude, thanks!

SOTM--still cute, Mr. D!

Thank you, Arwen!

(SOTM) "Some lying prankster undead dude" is classic JD - so many great lines tho

Thank you, Stuart.

Well done, Johnny D. Well rhymed, good plot, fun story. And I like the word you coined - Metro-sex-a-ghoul.

this is superb Johnny .... really sharp and dead funny!!!!! 5slots of great lines .. loved the ferrarri verse...and terrific pacing

Thanks, John and Martha.

Great stuff JD! Top 2 finish!

Thanks Pippin! ;-)

SOTM...see above vote and comment...highly excellent

Love it. And so many great rhymes for fire ("coffin dehumidifier" being my fave) that you didn't even have to stoop to "funeral pyre."

Thank you, Dee & Spaff.

Coffin dehumidifier was one of my highlights too. As well as the punch-line. Enjoyed it spookily.

(SOTM) As above (all of them) ;-)

Thanks, 2nz & Merry.

(SOTM) - See earlier comments - This one does NOT suck, JD...superb!

Suck's already used, too late for that one...excellent job!

Thank you, Paul and Jeff.

I DKTOS, but I'm going to trust the 33 votes on pacing... I give you 5's That was hilarious and had good rhyming!

(ABC05) Still a winner

(ABC05) I do know the OS, and, again, you staked this masterfully.

(ABC05) Very good still!!

(ABC05) I loved the ending (and the rest of it too!)

Don't know how I missed this one, but Count up another five.

(ABC05) VERY FUNNY! 555

(ABC) nothing to say that hasn't been said... this might be my favorite one of yours that I've read, but there are so many that I'm not sure. 555, easily

(N) yeah, I like everything about this one - droll/vampires is an unusual combination - 555

(ABC) Great rhyming throughout, funny theme, biting wit. "Don't get AIDS, use a mouthguard!"

(ABC) Once again...Vladdy vrilliant!

LOLOLOLOL LOL LOL!! This is EXTREMELY FUNNY!!! Good job again Johnny D!