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Song Parodies -> "Bucket Beside"

Original Song Title:

"Ticket to Ride"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Carpenters

Parody Song Title:

"Bucket Beside"

Parody Written by:

Lifeliver

The Lyrics

It's started again. Christmas in Japan is one huge shopping campaign that begins first week in November - two months of the worst of Christmas songs blaring out of every shopping mall and department store, family restaurant, fast food and coffee chain. There's no escape. Even the gas-station attendants wear Santa hats. And as they are officially a Buddhist nation, there's not even a public holiday.

I'm not really a bah-humbug type of guy, but the songs drive me nuts! 'Jingle-Bell Rock' makes me homicidal. Time for revenge! Please follow the Carpenters version, not the Beatles, as there are significant differences.
A BUCKET BESIDE

I think I'm gonna be sick
I think it's today, yeah
The mall that's quadrophonic
Noel-ing away
I've got a bucket beside
Me, got a bucket beside
I've got a bucket beside
And I don't care

That Merry-Gentlemen show
It's bringing me down, yeah
Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
In sensurround sound
I've got a bucket beside
No one-horse open-sleigh ride
Rudolph's red nose not my guide
And I don't care

Don't Hark no Herald Angels on high
No more Silent, no more Holy Night, praise be
Frosty the Snowman go die
Ol' Bingo Crostbite, Christmas dream white, spare me

I think I'm gonna be sick
In manger away, yeah
The malls decked with plows of my ick
Nothing you dismay, yeah

Ah, I've got a bucket beside
Yuletide turning peptide
Stuffed sack will not subside
And I don't care
Don't care where -ere - air!
Airggghhh!

(fade)

Think I've gone and been si - ick
Chestnuts creamy and thi - ick
Glaring and gagging, that chi - ick
Liquid tinsel froli - ic
Donner, Blitzen run qui - ick
Candles get on my wi - ick

original on YouTube.
For those interested, this cover was recorded around 1968, before the Carpenters became famous. It charted poorly. The world was obviously not ready for full-blown string arrangements and Baroque piano introductions to their favorite Beatles songs. It's now regarded as one of Richard Carpenter's most inspired arrangements. He slowed the tempo and lowered it to a minor key to feature Karen's superb alto range, especially on the line 'I don't care'. Many hard-core Beatles fans like me prefer this version. Upstaging the Fab Four is no small achievement, but there are some who are not swayed.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Dave W. - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Never go to the mall when you have the flu, especially at chistmas time lol
AFW - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Very good, and interesting..your frustration sounds reasonable, as the old saying goes..too much of a good thing - is not a good thing...bty..do you live in Japan?
Meriadoc - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Awwwww...now I'm hankering to put up my tree.... ;)
Lifeliver - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks you guys for v/c. but try to tell me something you liked and didn't like, either or both is useful for me.
Dave W, AFW - Can you die from Xmas song OD? Actually I like the trad carols, it's the happy holiday pop songs over and over that bug me
Merry - It's early November for Chrissakes, as I tell the Japanese shop staff. They just think I'm cute. There are quite a few public trees around already. Most folks here don't bother in their homes - no space, for one thing, and most homes have a 'butsudan', a special corner where they keep a permanent Buddhist shrine. For those that do, real trees are almost unheard of.
Meriadoc - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
LL - I once left a tree up till April. My take on it is if it takes me a whole weekend to decorate, I might as well enjoy it for awhile. I don't do presents, 'cus I'm too poor and don't do the big family get-together 'cus we had a small family to start with and most are dead now. But the tree is a must for me, as early as possible. It's the only thing that makes an Ohio winter bearable.

I totally agree with you on the holiday pop songs. The Eurythmics and their bastardized lyrics of Winter Wonderland is the worst one.

As for critique - fave parts were Frosty go die; Bingo Crostbite and the best was the quadrophonic mall (is Japan a bit behind the times techno-wise? :O )
Peregrin - December 15, 2012 - Report this comment
LL, I had studiously avoided The Carpenters' version of this till now, mainly in deference to my love of The Beatles. However, I listened and watched your link, then again listened to the words of the parody. Agreed, Christmas does last a long time these days!

I liked "Yuletide turning peptide". And of course the inevitable reference to a white Christmas, when I live in a place where we are invariably sweltering in 35-40c heat at the time.

I was intrigued in the clip to see that Richard's piano seems to turn from black to white to black again...

Shameless plug regarding my heat comments above: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/johnlennon89.shtml

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